America's Next Top Model

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Hide and Go Sheep

The girls are delivered to a grassy volcano where they see Maori tribesmen wearing what Jessica characterizes as "butt flaps." The Maori men blow into conch shells then do some sort of dance that confuses and scares the crap out of Raina. This might be because all of the tongue wagging looks vaguely crude when done to a bunch of 18-year-old girls. J. Alexander emerges wearing a very understated hoodie and some beat looking hair. Maybe he just got off the plane, too. Miss J. introduces Colin Mathura-Jeffree, who is a judge on New Zealand's Next Top Model. Colin explains that they're standing on the Mount Eden volcano, which is very sacred to the Maori people. The Maori performance that the girls just saw is called the haka peruperu (I think? I Googled this the best I could.). The dancers were representing who they are, their ancestry, and the power of their people.

You'd think this would mean that it was time for the girls to learn the haka peruperu themselves, but no! Miss J. says that Tyra didn't bring them there for the beautiful people and landscape. Air New Zealand launched its fashion week eight years ago, and each year it gets bigger. Are they designing garments for shorn sheep? Something in a nice gabardine, perhaps? At the top of the volcano are taxi cabs that contain the girls' portfolios. They are going on go-sees. We cut to a shot of Angelea and her crazy-ass hair, to drive home the point of how cruel this is. Colin says that as a model you always must be ready -- you have to be prepared to land in a country and go immediately on go-sees. I would think that as a model you'd maybe plan your travel schedule better, but I suppose if you thought New Zealand was located above Canada anything's possible. Krista confessionalizes, "Are you kidding me? We're going to go-sees to try on peoples' clothes, and we smell like yesterday. Just nasty." I have been saying "smells like yesterday" nonstop all week. The girls will have four and a half hours to visit six designers, and they must make the best impression possible. They can go in any order they like, but must return to 62 Model Management before their time is up. And we all know how important the timely return is.

The girls rush to their cabs and take off. It's raining, which will be a common occurrence during this trip. Angelea tells us that she was well-rested when she got off of the plane, thanks to her special first class curvy bed, and knew the others would have jet lag. Her extra sleep allows her to notice that the other girls are all going in the same direction, which likely means that they're going to the same place. She doesn't want them to slow up her progress so, with a declaration that the others are not as smart as her (likely true, see New Zealand geography lesson above), she decides to start at a far-off point.

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America's Next Top Model

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