America's Next Top Model

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Goddesses and Monsters

The next morning there is Tyra Mail! "Eenie meenie miney mo, make it fierce from head to toe. Love, Tyra." Everyone suspects that they're about to have their first photo shoot. They arrive at Central Park. It's a rainy day, but that doesn't' stop Jay Manuel from riding his bike up to them, decked out like an orange Transformer. You might think his ensemble has something to do with the photo shoot theme, but in fact he just revels in looking ridiculous. He tells the girls that today they'll be portraying beloved childhood games. This is very important to Tyra, who feels that today's girls are growing up way too fast. As a result, good girls are turning bad. To highlight this issue, these grown women will be dressed in schoolgirl outfits and sucking on lollipops. Thanks, Tyra! Extras have been hired to play the dreaded bad girls (toot toot, yeah, beep beep), and the photographer for the day is Fadil Berisha.

The girls head to hair and makeup, where we see old favorites Christian Marc and Sutan. Fo tells them that she's a pre-school teacher, so is doubly down with this shoot. She'll be portraying Ring Around the Rosie. The bad girls surround her and are variously from the ghetto, a punk rocker, and pregnant/drinking booze from a paper bag. If Top Model knows one thing, it's how to present an issue with subtlety. Fo appears to do a relatively good job. London is up next, with a tug-of-war shot. She falls in the dirt while pulling her rope, I think because she's wearing giant child-like hooker heels. So innocent! Tahlia has to play tag in her shot. It's hard to play tag in kitten heel booties, as I learned when I was four. Tahlia's having a rough time, and Jay asks her why she wants to be a model. Tahlia says that she has the desire, drive and passion, and also has an inspirational story behind her. This is true of a lot of models. Why, remember how Kate Moss looked like she was on drugs, and then WAS on drugs!?! It really makes you appreciate how the human spirit can triumph. Jay thinks that Tahlia is saying all the right things and trying to do all the right things, but he only sees a giant question mark and a lot of insecurities. Tahlia interviews that over the past two days she's felt shame about herself, and she needs it to go away. With that, we head to commercials.

It's McKey's Life as a Cover Girl. Being a Cover Girl is all about what's on the inside. Except for the part where it's all about what kinds of chemicals you smear on the outside of your face. The inspiration continues!

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America's Next Top Model

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