America's Next Top Model

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Goddesses and Monsters

Next up is Alex, 20 from Tampa, Florida, who is a white girl who once lived in the hood. We get to see Alex's awesome audition tape, in which she says that she is quick to snap on a bitch if she's disrespected. Alex says that in this world you have to watch your back and learn how to peep out people's personalities. Alex interviews that she's had to bust her ass for everything she has in her life. She's probably busted a few other asses along the way, just for fun. Then there's Isabella, 19 from Barboursville, Virginia, who gives Tahlia a run for her money by announcing that in high school she was diagnosed with epilepsy. She has full on-the-ground eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head seizures, and sometimes will go unconscious. One suspects that they will keep her until this happens while she is being evaluated at panel. Isabella interviews that her epilepsy is something she has to deal with on a daily basis -- she takes medication twice a day -- but it's not holding her back in any way.

Next there is Nijah, 18, from Rancho Cucamongo, California, who is a prom queen. Tyra asks Nijah if she knew she was going to win, which is really just a segue to Tyra talking about how she thought she was going to be named prom queen but wasn't. Shocker. We see a photo of Tyra on prom night, and it appears that her date was a blurry-faced Miss J. Unless this story ends with Tyra being doused by a bucket of pig blood and setting the gym on fire with her psychic powers, I don't need to hear more. And really, if Tyra had destructive psychic powers, I think Naomi Campbell would have retired due to her crippling gas by now. Nijah interviews that she's a pretty nice and friendly girl. She also can tap dance a little. Fascinating!

Next we have Felicia, who goes by Fo. She's 19 and from Albequerque and is my personal pick for most gorgeous of the season. She has the best freckles. Felicia is mixed race and refers to herself as "Blaxican." Not quite as awesome as Jade's "Blewish," but it will do. Felicia met her father when she was nine, and up until that point didn't know that she was black. That's some excellent family communication she had going on. Felicia has a great body, albeit a short one.

The girls hit the dinner buffet and it's time for some more true confessions. Angelea quite sadly had a daughter who passed away after having a seizure. Let's hope that seeing Isabella have her character arc-defining seizure at panel doesn't trigger some sort of psychotic break. Some sort of FURTHER psychotic break. Angelea says that she comes from the ghetto. Her insane nails do the talking for her on this point. Angelea really, REALLY doesn't want to go back to her hometown of Buffalo. We get to ponder the horrors of Buffalo (but it created such a delicious sauce!) as we cut to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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