America's Next Top Model

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Goddesses and Monsters

Meanwhile, Allison, 20 from New Orleans, is scaring people with her eyes again. When Tyra asks about them at panel, Allison says that people often say she looks like a scary doll. Allison is also jealous that she's never had a nose bleed. She admits to having a really big fascination with blood, and says that she thinks nose bleeds look really pretty. Tyra got nose bleeds all the time as a child. Allison wants to cut all the skin off of Tyra's face and wear it over her own. That's one way to find the successor to the Goddess of Fierce. Allison interviews that she's really interested in hemophilia before saying that she might give off a strange vibe sometimes. Hm. Don't see it. Tyra thinks that Allison is interesting, but Miss J. worries that she's going to go around punching all the other girls in the nose while they sleep. If you ask me, his fear is founded.

Teyona, 20, from Woodstown, New Jersey, is next and thinks she's the bomb. She also grew up in the country around a lot of horses, cows and chickens. Oh, and boys. She says that when she was younger she didn't think she was pretty, but as she got older she started an internal narrative that went, "Mmm, Teyona, you are fine, girl!" Tyra thinks that Teyona's face looks like she's in a wind tunnel. In a good way. If she can also get her hair to blow around of its own accord, I think she'll make it until at least week eight.

The next morning, the girls put on their togas again and meet the Jays, who tell them that it's time for the first cut. Only a lucky 21 will make it to the next phase. There are 34 boxes -- one for each girl. If a contestant finds a golden wreath in the box with her name on it, she's on to the next round. The contestants who don't move on will find nothing, not even a stick of gum for the plane ride home. It is bedlam as each girl runs to find her box. There are tears of joy! There are tears of sadness. Most of the girls we've spent time with make it, including Angelea. She has a message to all the haters: "Angelea's gonna be in that house. I'm gonna be in that house, I'm telling you. That's 14 bitches out the way, you know what I'm saying? Fourteen bitches that ain't me. Peace, bye!" I'm sure this all stems from something she caught at the Port Authority toilet/bed. Monique doesn't make it, and can now begin the enjoyable work of figuring out the conspiracy behind her ouster. Ghetto girl Alex is also eliminated, and notes that she put a lot on the line, even withdrawing from school to come on the show. Well, that was a dumb-ass decision. To all you readers out there: stay in school, bitches!

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America's Next Top Model

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