America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 566 USERS: C+
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Slaughterhouse Jive

Stop! Panel time! We are welcomed into panel by a photo of a dazed-looking Tyra eating, like, a 20 ounce raw steak. I think that might be a candid. There are prizes, there are judges. Tyra sings the judges' names. Because she is crazy. Seriously, bitch has lost her mind, if not her voice. Bryan Bradley of Tuleh is the guest judge.

Stacy-Ann is up first. Nigel is disappointed that Stacy-Ann seems so removed from the props, and wants to see some angst and passion. Miss J. criticizes her for her standard, Modeling 101 pose. Tyra tells Whitney how fabulous she looks, and compliments her for showing some meat -- plus-sized meat, that is -- in her photo. Tyra points out that Whitney is wearing meat drawers. Bryan likes that her photo is comedic yet sexy. Paulina says that she doesn't know who came up with the photo shoot, but it's a metaphor for being a model. If you want to be in this industry, Tyra adds, you have to be prepared to be treated like a side of beef. Overall, Whitney did a good job.

Not so good is Aimee, who looks like a beefy mannequin. Bryan says that she looks nervous in her photo, and like she just faded away. Tyra asks what was up with her, and Paulina says that Aimee looks like she smelled something bad and/or like she was too good to be there. She had her special Mormon meat underpants all in a twist. Then we have Katarzyna, who says it felt amazing to win the challenge. Nigel thinks that her picture is interesting, her body looks good, and there's a story. Tyra likes the way that Katarzyna is holding her meat skirt, but she thinks that there's something missing. Katarzyna isn't understanding her body and her face isn't enough to make her photos truly magical. Fatima's photo is not spectacular. Her legs look short, and her film was full of the bottom-teeth snarl. Paulina asks if Jay and the photographer asked her to stop and do something different with her face. Fatima says they might have, but she didn't hear them. Well, there's a great excuse. Paulina tells Fatima that she has to listen.

Anya's shot is great. Nigel says it's the first fashion photo he's seen of the bunch. Bryan agrees that it's fabulous, and says that she seems like a natural. Paulina notes that Anya looks comfortable, whereas the other girls got squirrelly about how attractive they could be in beef drawers. Claire's photo is 1990's heroin chic, according to Paulina, which kind of works with the dead meat theme, but is a little passé. Miss J. isn't crazy about it either, but Tyra loves the picture and the angles of Claire's body. As Dominique approaches the panel, Tyra lies that she looks beautiful and makes a point of how this week Dominique got the hair color that Tyra wanted for her all along. Yeah, that hair color really fixes everything. Miss J.'s only compliant with Dominique is that her legs look smooshed. Tyra thinks that Dominique's eyes really connect with the camera. Nigel thinks that her photograph looks like something that you'd see on a calendar in the meat packing district. Is that supposed to be a compliment? She's got one leg up, and is holding the meat. Well, then. Paulina calls Dominique America's Sexiest Butcher. Now there's a show I'd like to see.

America's Next Top Model

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