Oh, but wait. There's more. Jay Manuel comes out in his Renaissance Faire costume and the same wig he wore when he was from the future in the premiere. He is seriously wearing more purple velvet than Prince in his heyday. Jay, also known as Prince Couture, says that he can save Princess Tyra with a kiss. Just when you think this show has already had its gayest moment, it continues to surprise you. I feel so bad for the girls for having to sit through this in person. Jay kisses Tyra, and she wakes up. Oh, boo. But she feels woozy, and so can't tell the girls what they're going to get for their makeovers. Seriously, she couldn't have just said, "Now that I'm finished telling you all about the transformative power of my tits, it sucks to be you, because you're getting surprise makeovers"? And then left without spitting up apple chunks into her cleavage? Jay carries Tyra away. He must be working out a lot these days. The girls whoop and scream, because they are contractually obligated to do so.
The next morning, the girls head to the Neil George Salon, where they meet the Jays, who claim not to know what the girls' makeovers are going to be. All of the mirrors in the salon are covered, so the final result will be a surprise to the girls, too. To make the surprise even greater, they should slip the girls some roofies. And speaking of, let's all say a little prayer for George Michael. Crack is whack, George. Cracked out feet have got no rhythm. The Faith Tour was the first concert I ever saw, and I used to go to sleep every night only after gazing at my 16-month George Michael calendar. I get a thrill every time I hear the opening chords to "Father Figure." George, I don't want your freedom, I just want you to stay at home once in a while, sip a cup of herbal tea, and go to bed by 11. Get it together, little buddy.
The makeovers commence! And oh, Lord. Remember when we had TyraVision in the corner of the screen, narrating the makeover process? Now we have "The Good Fierce Witch," who has white eyes. Is that really necessary? Does Tyra have to actually try to be creepier when she's in costume? Tyra thinks that Marjorie is too blonde, and requests that we agree with her. She wants to make Marjorie brown. And so Marjorie is brown. The cut's the same. Joslyn gets a long wavy, textured weave. The Good Fierce Witch somehow tries to convince us that this has something to do with her squeaky voice. Nice try, GFW.