America's Next Top Model

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When we return, the weavologist is going to town on Elina. Miss J. tells her that she should be skurrred. That's not good! I mean, it's good for us, but not so good for Elina. The GFW tells us that Elina reminds her of Angelina Jolie. However, there can only be one Angelina Jolie. Hooo, damn, so Elina is getting a mad curly red weave! She is not particularly happy about this, and so starts crying. She says that she doesn't feel like herself. It's not her, she says. Brittany tells us that Elina has an image that she refuses to let go of. If you're really a strong person, says Brittany, hair shouldn't change you. And whatever, we all have years when we look like Carrot Top. Jay spews some nonsensical crap about something still being under all the hair but Elina not wanting to let it go. She couldn't let it go if she wanted to, because it's trapped under the weave! She can pat it once in a while when it itches, but frankly it's stuck in there for the rest of the season. When the weave is finished, Elina says that she's not angry, but she doesn't feel like herself anymore. She doesn't yet realize this might be a good thing. The hair actually looks pretty cool, if perhaps a bit like she might be late for her dinner date with The Hamburglar. And you know by Episode 6 that shit is going to look stank.

Oh! And there are still others left! The GFW gets rid of McKey's red hair in favor of a short, black cut. Isis is next, and gets a long, straight weave. Brittany, who suffers from catalogue syndrome, gets a weavy wave. Brittany thinks it's very sexy and high fashion. Oh, but then we get back to Brittany's internal pain over being so pretty. She asks Miss J. what he thinks of her, and he says that she's very pretty, and he could see her being married to a football player. Say what you will about Miss J., but that was spot-on. Brittany pouts, and Miss J. tells her that she'd have a reason to fucking cry if she were butt-ugly. As it stands, she should count her blessings and just go try to sell her ass to Victoria's Secret like Tyra did. Always the sympathetic mentor, Miss J. tells Brittany to get her makeup touched up, because she looks a mess. And with that, the makeovers are finished.

Back at the house, there's Tyra Mail: "Sometimes even top models have to work the late shift. Love, Tyra." The girls figure out that they're going to be up all night long. Let the music play on (play on play on play on). They head to Wal-Mart, of course. McKey actually looks disgusted. Joslyn wants to go shopping. The girls head to the makeup section, where they find Sutan. He introduces them to Crissy Barker, CoverGirl representative and wife of Nigel Barker! Well done, N-dog. Crissy reminds us that last year there was a makeup challenge in Wal-Mart, and then reveals Whitney's winning CoverGirl display. It's all very exciting, what with the smelling like a bomb and shining like a beacon. This year's makeup challenge will have the girls picking out the right shade of TruBlend foundation, then recording an improvised 30-second commercial for the TruBlend Shade Selector. The Shade Selector is like a little sneeze guard that you put your hand under to see which shade of TruBlend is right for you. Which is great if you intend to put the makeup on your hand. The winner of the challenge will have her improvised video featured on the CoverGirl web site, her image on the makeup page of WalMart.com, and a Wal-Mart gift card worth $1000. You could buy a lot of ammo with that.

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America's Next Top Model

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