America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 1001 USERS: C+
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Roll with the Punches

Chelsey is next. Nigel tells her that she started off a mess, but it got better and better. I don't know that I'd go that far. Tyra says that Chelsey wasn't bad, but the performance was a little wooden. She wants more flirtation and fun. ALT wants more snap, crackle, and pop. In other words: dull. There's a bit of a critical dull mass from these girls, which is probably why they can't get rid of Liz. She's annoying, but at least she might cut a bitch and cause some excitement. Finally there's Esther. Boy, do her boobs look extra ginormous in her bathing suit. Even this can't add excitement to her flat performance. The judges make a series of "Wah wahhhh" sounds. Zac looks at Tyra and says that the commercial was a mess in every way. Nigel agrees, and says that the biggest problem is that Esther wasn't memorable in any way. Tyra says that Esther's voice has a natural muffler on it, and so she has to practice in the mirror and, I quote, "Push past your muffle-roowah-oorahg." I know I didn't transcribe that so well, but to help you understand the sound I will say that it's like a muffled (!) version of that part at the end of "Maneater" when Darryl Hall sings, "The woman is wild oooooowoooahooo!" But Esther, of course, is not wild. ALT tells Esther that her commercial was a mess, but today is the first time that she looks like a model who could go on a go-see.

The judges deliberate. Nigel says that Chelsey has the potential to be a model, but he questions whether she has the potential to be a top model. Zac Posen says that he could paint her face on, send her out, and know she's not going to fall and will sell it fine. That sounds kind of like high praise. Liz's commercial didn't work. ALT thought she had nerves of steel at Zac's show, but she really has nerves of chiffon. You already know what Nigel thinks of her. Jane can do beauty and will sell a lot because she's so commercial, according to Zac. Tyra agrees that she has a fantastic look and could be on runway or magazine covers, but she doesn't know if Jane will ever get the opportunity to do so because her personality is so "Wraaaaaah." Wraaaaaah is not a compliment, in case you were confused. Nigel actually forgot Esther when he went home and reviewed all of the girls' performances. Tyra says that her commercial was nothing. Zac agrees that she's just a little boring. ALT says that Esther has potential, and is not the worst of the lot today.

America's Next Top Model

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