America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 1001 USERS: C+
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Roll with the Punches

Zac has the models do a practice walk for him in their runway ensembles. Chelsey is told to work her shoulders and hips and to bounce, while Chris displays chic elegance until it turns drag queen. One of the professionally bitchy models says, "He's reallllly having to work hard to make this work." Chris tells us that some of her counterparts might have been a little intimidated by having to work with professional models, but she didn't give a damn and walked like she owned the place. This is the time when being brash, unfeeling or otherwise clueless actually works in your favor. Esther walks and one of the pro models says that she looks constipated. The other girls giggle, I'm sure because it's all part of their "act." Kayla tells us that the pro models were bitchy and adds, "I'm sure they didn't walk out of the womb on the runway." And now I just got a flashback to that awful dancing baby so prevalent in the Ally McBeal days. Horrors.

The show is about to begin! Zac tells us that these are some of the most inexperienced runway models he's ever worked with, but he's sure that with a little bit of confidence they'll sell every piece in the collection. But that confidence is hard to come by when you're Ann and another model says to you, "You're lucky you're on America's Next Top Model. You're not really... Zac's normal type. I don't think he'd normally hire you, you know?" Poor Ann. She interviews that being with the professional models was intimidating, and she started getting "a little frazzled and stuff." Esther is not faring much better. One model says to her, "Boobs are big, could be hard to work, you know?" Esther replies that she is well aware of her giant knockers, thanks very much.

Andre Leon Talley is on hand to introduce the show, proving that Zac's lip service to diverse body types on the runway is in fact grounded in action. Zac gets the cutest little kid giggle of delight when he sees ALT on the runway, which I think is the appropriate reaction. Jane is up first and seems to do a competent if unremarkable job, as does Esther, who follows. Liz has busted into one of her signature dance moves backstage before going out on the runway and one of the pro models turns to her and says, "Just between you and I, I don't think you're ready." So mean! Liz makes faces behind the model's back and seems unperturbed, though she does stop doing her whack dance. She's okay on the runway, though she does look a bit stern. Kayla also seems to do a fine job. And then it's time for Ann's walk. As she waits to go on the runway one of the pro models taps her on the shoulder and says, "So there's a lot of people out there so just, you know... don't screw it up." A psyched-out looking Ann interviews that the remark really psyched her out. Clearly. As she fears that she's going to fail and worries that she'll buckle under the stress and pressure, we head to commercials.

America's Next Top Model

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