America's Next Top Model

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Roll with the Punches

The next morning, Ann is eating some sort of mysterious scrambled egg soup. Seriously, what is that? I'm sure it wasn't part of Karolina Kurkova's smoothie recipe. Jay Manuel shows up at the house, with Nigel in tow. The girls are getting really sick of unannounced houseguests. Jay announces that the girls will be doing their first commercial today, and Nigel is the director. Chris is excited, because this is one challenge in which having a personality will really come in handy. The commercial is for H2T water, which is not a real product. If it were, however, it would come in low-carb brownie and umeboshi flavors. Nigel tells the girls that they'll be roller-skating and kissing boys in this commercial. Ann's face sinks even further than it is already sunken. She tells us that being tall on roller skates is not a very good combination. It's true that her center of gravity may be problematic in this case. Kayla, meanwhile, is balking at kissing the boy. Jay tells her that they want a real, sexually charged moment. She is not happy. The commercial will be shot right on Venice Beach, and hair and makeup is already set up outside of their house! It must be nice when the job comes to you.

The girls head to get haired, made up, and outfitted, and I am sorry to tell you that it appears they'll be wearing American Apparel bathing suits. While Liz tries to practice her lines and her kiss on Chris, Kayla starts to tear up. She tells us that she couldn't get the kiss out of her head, and it's deeper to her than being gay - she feels personally uncomfortable with intimacy with men. Jay sees Kayla's distress and pulls her aside for a little talk. He asks if she's cool with this, and she shakes her head no. Jay asks why it bothers her, and Kayla drops the bomb that she was sexually assaulted when she was eleven years old and this whole challenge freaks her out. She cries harder as she says that she doesn't want to kiss men or interact with men, because they scare her. As she says, "I really don't want to do it," we cut to commercials.

When we return, Kayla tells us that the idea of kissing a man freaked her out and gave her a memory flashback. The poor thing. I would like to change my earlier statement and give the approximately 6,500 therapy co-pays to Kayla. When "I was molested for a year and a half" is thrown into the mix, "I'm tall" becomes a bit less compelling. Jay offers some empathetic words to Kayla, and keeps a respectful distance while he does so. I actually think he's trying to keep it kind yet professional rather than simply shitting his pants over what to say, but I could be wrong. Kayla says that if she was offered a job where she had to really go at it with a guy, she'd probably refuse it. She's never talked to anyone about this, including her mom, until now. Oh, yikes. I wish that wasn't true, for so many reasons. Kayla says that, given that neither her family nor any of her friends know this, it was pretty hard to just blurt it out to an orange man on Venice Beach twenty minutes before she had to roller skate with fake water in her hand.

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America's Next Top Model

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