America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A+ | 1318 USERS: C+
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Timing Is Everything

Alasia is next, modeling a vest. Jay doesn't like her feet and legs as she sits. She tries a different pose, which involves turning her body so that her back half is facing the camera, turning the vest around like she's an ill-advised Celine Dion at the 1999 Oscars, and covering up her buttcrack with a well-placed forearm. Jay deems this "creative." Jonathan asks where Alasia saw that pose and Jay answers for her by shouting, "The zoo!" Whatever, giraffes can't even get their front arms in that position. Alasia says, "I'm sorry, is that bad?" Apparently it's bad. Krista interviews that Alasia is a mess. Oooh, and then Alasia sits again and appears not to have learned the basic life lesson that if you're naked with other people you always hold in your stomach. Raina notes that she looks pregnant. Overall, Alasia was disappointing and looked lost.

Next is Ren, modeling a gold sparkly asymmetrical top hat that of course she loves. She chats with the folks backstage, and interviews that she tends to get along with the hair and makeup people. She's not going out of her way to make the other models like her. Or, I would add, to make us like her. She acts like this is a choice, which, I'm not so sure. Jay and Jonathan seem to like what she's doing. Angelea tells us that she didn't give Ren much thought, because she's so deficient in personality. However, she had a bomb-ass photo shoot, so might indeed be a threat. Krista is next, and has a "dress." It's basically like a sash of fabric that she's not even wearing. How is that a dress? Jay tells her that he gets a good photo when he covers up her face. Nice. The overall consensus is that Krista's shoot pretty much sucked. Even she's unsure about it. And that's a wrap!

The girls get Tyra Mail, delivered with a skull and crossbones symbol. Wouldn't it be great if this actually meant that one food item in the kitchen has rat poison in it, but they don't know which one? I'd find that an engaging season-long subplot, and a very effective way to curb midnight munchies. Sadly, it just means that panel is imminent and someone's going home. Gabrielle tells us that she's not scared, because she brings it in front of the camera, and thinks she did well at the shoot. Naduah also isn't nervous, but notes to a few other girls that Jay was pretty harsh on Krista. Brenda agrees, and thinks that Krista will be the one going home. With that, we head to commercials.

America's Next Top Model

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