And then ALT, like the fairy godmother to a woodland fantasy nymph that he is, tells Alasia that he absolutely loves the photograph. He applauds her for the boldness and imagination of the whole thing, and says it's a raw, beautiful photograph. Tyra and Nigel give some choice looks. But ALT is undeterred. He says that if this was shown in a gallery he'd buy it and hang it in his salon. Not his hair salon. His French SA-lon, like he's Gertrude Stein. ALT defines "salon" as a room where you go and you converse, and serve beautiful drinks, and talk about politics, religion, art, love, sex, beauty, wine, roses, and the fabulous girl with her fabulous derriere. As you can imagine, no one has anything to say to that, though I bet Nigel is totally going to go home and redecorate his den to make it more salon-esque.

The judges deliberate. Ren has a classic nude pose, and ALT likes the emotion in her eyes while Sally likes her waifish Kate Moss vibe. ALT thinks that the best thing about Simone is her skin, and she didn't sell her jacket properly. He adds, "It's all awkward and gauche." Not salon material, apparently. Tatianna's photo works, but possibly only because Tyra and ALT are obsessed with the Cavalli/Gucci/Dior/luxury brands-ish scarf. Again: Custo Barcelona. ALT thinks that Gabrielle's shot is boring, cliché, and catalogue-y from the wrong catalogue. Sally thought she was hidden, and Nigel sees no emotion. Jessica is "it," according to ALT. Sally loves her body, attitude, and sexy hair. Krista's picture is wretched, but ALT thinks she has potential when you see her in person. ALT is not impressed by Naduah, and thinks it's a copycat pose. Tyra loves it, though, possibly because it reminds her of kidfucker cults.

Alexandra's face is really '70s and retro, but Nigel thinks she's merely pretty. Brenda has a great face and luscious lips, according to Sally, and Nigel thinks that she's got strength in her eyes. Raina has extraordinary lyricism in her body, according to ALT, and Tyra adds that she has a secret in her eyes. ALT is impressed that she knew how to put the ring on and sell it. Nigel thinks that Alasia's photo is all wrong, and Sally adds that it's amateurish. However, ALT thinks it's bold, out of the box, imaginative, and he loves the awkwardness of her legs. Nigel makes a pun on the word "asset," and appears more doofusy than ever when positioned two seats down from ALT. Everyone loves Angelea's photo. Nigel and ALT have a disagreement about whether her hand is dainty or powerful. I think these two are going to hate each other but quick. ALT and Tyra like Anslee's picture a lot more than it seemed earlier. Mostly, they want the clutch purse. With that, the judges have reached a decision!