America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 863 USERS: B-
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Woman Warriors

Hannah is next up, and wants to make an impression in her very tiny top hat. She's crazy for handbags, and has a little monologue that she does about how much she loves bags and how amazing they are. It's pretty weird. Jay notes that it's a hot, crazy mess. Hannah tells us that she got lost in the theatrics of it all, and when she saw how unhappy Jay was she knew she was in trouble. She still keeps up with the crazy chatter, though. Jay tells her that it's force-fed. To us he says that Hannah went full-on with her interpretation of crazy, but left any ability to model back in hair and makeup.

Jaclyn is crazy for makeup, and looks like a combo of Baby Jane and the guy from A Clockwork Orange. She has lipstick smeared magnificently across her face, and Jay notes that she makes a very convincing crazy person. Kasia is crazy for hair and so plays with a bunch of extensions. Jay likes the fact that she's not afraid to frown and do things that are different. Alexandria is crazy for faux fur. Despite the fact that she has a stuffed animal fox around her neck, Jay tells her that she doesn't really look crazy enough. He asks what makes her crazy, and Alexandria says that it's when people are yelling at her. She notes that the other bitches in the house have done that plenty, and Jay tells her to show what she's got. She starts screaming like an inmate at an asylum, and Jay loves it. Outside, the other girls hear her screams and wish that she was actually being murdered. Molly notes ruefully that she's probably still alive, and also probably isn't going home this week.

Mikaela is crazy for sales. She does a lot of panting about all the bags of crap around, and Jay tells her to let the set serve her rather than overtake her energy. He says that she was overwhelmed by the set, and it was almost like ADD Christmas morning. She throws a couple of bags up in the air, and Jay seems to like it for a minute, and that's a wrap.

Back at the house, the girls talk about their shoots. Mikaela is nervous about panel. She thinks she did a good job, but it wasn't the best she could have done. Brittani says that some people did good, and some people did great, but at least they all look better than "that." One guess as to who "that" is. Brittani confessionalizes that she hopes she doesn't flip out at panel if Alexandria doesn't go home. She notes that panel would be the worst place for her to flip out. Indeed. She feels bad for flipping out in front of Nigel, and thinks that he'll see her as the bitch even though that's not the case. She wishes that everyone else could see the many stank sides of Alexandria that her housemates are forced to witness regularly. If Alexandria stays in the house, Brittani promises to rip off her fucking head. And now we have a show! Meanwhile, Alexandria files her nails. She doesn't want to talk to the other girls anyway, so the silent treatment isn't even bothering her. She crazy confessionalizes that Brittani doesn't matter to her, and that she's strong and Brittani's weak. She squints and says that she'll be there longer than Brittani will, and we head to commercials.

America's Next Top Model

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