And then, fuck. Jennifer is in so much blackface, I can't even tell you. And she's wearing an afro. But we get some time to digest that as we see Nicole's photo shoot. Nicole, who seems like she should know better, actually likes her styling and says she's always wondered what she'd look like as a different race. She's wearing a shortie kimono with some sort of imposing necklace and a giant headwrap. She is very, very brown. Tyra wants to see Nicole's famous shapes, even though Nigel doesn't like them. I think Nigel actually likes them okay, he just suggested that she try something different every once in a while. Nicole uses a giant branch to her advantage, but loses points when she doesn't know what "H2T" means. In case you forgot, it's head to toe modeling. As opposed to "H2T1," which is the highly contagious blackface flu. Nicole's hair, now brown, comes down and she gets a different imposing necklace. Tyra and Jay love everything that she does.
And then there's Jennifer, with her insane blackface. Her ensemble is one of the more intriguing, and features a really fabulous necklace, but frankly it's hard to appreciate it because of the fact that she is PAINTED BLACK. Tyra tells us that Jennifer was a mess. She did not inspire Tyra, and in fact Tyra started panicking. Because she realized that she fucking put her models in blackface? There are some styling changes, but they still don't help. Jay tells Jennifer that in Botswana there's music everywhere you go. Thankfully, she does not interpret this statement as a directive to tap dance. Jennifer turns it around, and finally comes alive in her photos. On another note, can you imagine if Tyra was doing a Victoria's Secret shoot and those motherfuckers tried to put her in blackface? I'm just saying.
Brittany is next in her sari, bindi, and feather headdress. She tells us that she recalls seeing very dignified photos of Native Americans in history books. Those poor people are rolling in their graves now. Though, maybe I am a hypocrite here, because I really, really enjoy "Half-Breed" and have gone so far as to sing it at karaoke. And Cher rocked that headdress. It's different, right? Because that was, like, a serious song about being biracial, kind of. Just like "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" was all about the rampant stereotyping of those who were born in the wagon of a traveling show. Cher was all about music with a message. Sooner or later we DO all sleep alone. Anyway, Tyra tells Brittany to look at some sort of mythical eagle that's flying. I mean, why not. Jay wants Brittany to pick up the energy and make this shot high-fashion. Brittany maintains her stoicism, and Tyra tells her that it's a bit too catalog. In an interview, Brittany says that she needs to relax more and show the younger Brittany that exists under the composed mathematician exterior. In the end, Tyra says that Brittany was too stiff, and she would have liked to see some more angles in her body. Jay, however, liked it. As we all know, this counts for exactly nothing.












