When we return, the girls are en route to their photo shoot. They pass a sugar cane factory surrounded by sugar cane fields. Sundai notes that in some places the fields are tall and green, while other fields have been burned. She wonders what foolishness she's going to have to endure now. Little do you know, my friend. When the girls reach their final destination, they get off the bus and meet Mr. Jay, who is more orange than ever in his khaki sleeveless shirt. Before getting to any sort of photo shoot theme, Jay tells the girls that he hopes they're ready to impress today's photographer, who's someone they've kind of worked with before. It's Tyra. They really are cutting corners on the budget this season, aren't they? Tyra tells the girls that she'll be photographing them for the second time, and adds that this is the first time this has happened in Top Model history. I love how she talks about "Top Model history" like it's a real thing.
Tyra tries to drone on about how the petite beauties in front of her inspire her, but thankfully Jay interrupts her to get down to business. Meanwhile, I've just noticed that the girls are standing about 20 feet from Jay and Tyra -- WTF? How can they hear anything that they're saying? Jay tells the girls that once Hawaiians started growing sugarcane, they realized that they'd need a larger workforce. As a result, people from all over the world immigrated to Hawaii to get jobs. Just for the jobs, I'm sure, since Hawaii has nothing else going for it. And then Tyra, who is either drunk or suffering from heatstroke, asks, "And what happens when men and women from different places come together?" The answer is: you get babies. But not just any babies. Lots of babies who are from different cultures or, as Tyra says, "a mix." Like snack mix! With extra wasabi peas. In Hawaii, this is known as "hapa," which means half. The most famous hapa in the world, says Tyra, is President Barack Obama. She hapas upa and downa as she says this. Okay, that joke was terrible. But cut me some slack. I'm on a plane, and I'm about to describe to you how Tyra put her fucking short-ass models in blackface.
So, okay. Then Jay tells the girls that for this photo shoot they'll undergo a transformation and have to portray two very different, distinct races. What she doesn't add, but I'll let you know now: in wondrously stereotypical fashion, while in blackface. I mean, I'm just the recapper. Laura will be Mexican and Greek. Read: wearing a sombrero on a donkey while eating feta cheese from her sandals. Laura thinks this whole thing is very cool. Which, she's drunk and from Kentucky. And she did a "hoodrat" accent at a casting call. Erin is going to be Tibetan and Egyptian, which likely means she'll be in Suzanna Hoffs's old costume from the seminal Bangles video of the mid-'80s, while reading The Art of Happiness. Erin interviews that she doesn't know much about Tibet, except that it needs to be freed. And that a blackface tribute will be an essential part of said freeing.