America's Next Top Model

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Potes: C- | 1469 USERS: B-
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Blue Hawaii

Speaking of Erin, she's first to be photographed. And, I mean, what to say. She's painted burnt sienna, and is wearing the traditional Egyptian gold lame cleavage-revealing vest and some sort of big puffy hat that covers a dark wig. Erin tells us that she's always going to be intimidated by Tyra. She tends to overthink, and her mind gets frazzled. My mind is frazzled right now, too, let me tell you. And, sorry, I'm going to stop talking about the blackface in a minute. But... is Tyra being ironic? Does she really see this as a celebration of diversity? Does she actually think she's an invincible superhero called "Super Smize"? And what does Oprah think about all this? Anyway, Erin is not doing so well. Tyra tells her that she's too pose-y, and looks too commercial. Yes, the JC Penney catalog is known for its use of blackface. Jay yells to Erin to feel the spirituality of the Tibetan culture, which is all about ritual. Tyra calls for a change of Erin's enormous hat. Erin interviews that it sucks she hasn't spent more time learning about Tibet, because that knowledge would come in handy now. And, I mean, no it wouldn't. Tyra directs Erin as such: "Think about Egypt. The people. What they've been through." And if you don't know what they've been through (which is...The Mummy?), think about what we as a viewing audience have to go through RIGHT NOW! Tyra tells us that Erin was lost. She fell into one great picture, but it was an accident.

Laura is up next, and is painted Mr. Jay orange. Orangeface? And her hair is gray. She appears to be wearing some sort of a roughly Mexican-themed dress, with that Greek leafy headband thing. Tyra is having problems, saying that the styling is too "on the orangeface nose," and so turns Laura's Greek leafy headband thing backwards. I mean, it would be hard to make her look more ridiculous, so in that sense it's a success. Things aren't going so well, and Laura asks Tyra to be brutally honest with her. Tyra says she's not loving it, and points to Laura's Cirque de Soleil shot as an example of what she should be doing. Laura is then able to break out of her rut, and is helped in no small part by some amazing light. The sun wasn't on her side during the surfing challenge, but it is today.

America's Next Top Model

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