America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | 676 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Battle Of The Blands

Back at home, there is Tyra Mail. Some bitch is going home. Melrose says that it's weird going to Panel and only having three people. She just wants to hear her name get called. In that way, Melrose's fondest wish is antithetical to that of the entire CW-watching world. ["All twenty-three of us." -- Wing Chun] Eugena says that they know the routine by now, and that you just have to hope the judges like you and want to keep you. I love how she's so over it. Caridee is nervous. She says that she screwed up a lot during her commercial, and that they'll just have to see.

And with that, we're at Panel. Melrose appears to be wearing pants that are actually tights, or tights that are actually pants. In any case, it's horrifying. But not as horrifying as what Tyra is wearing. She looks like a blood sausage in black casing. There are prizes, there are judges. The guest judges are Victorio and Lucchino, the men who will design the dresses that the final two models will "stomp to the death in" (OH, IF ONLY) in the final runway show. Then, everyone watches the final commercial. Did you know that Cover Girl Outlast Lip Shine lasts for ten hours? That's five times as long as the previous record holder for longest-lasting shine gloss. Or, maybe five times as long as regular lip gloss. In any case, that must be some viscous fluid if it stays on your lips that long. ["Not to be all smells like cupcakes about it, but it's actually pretty awesome." -- Wing Chun] The girls tell us that if we use it we'll stay shiny for a very long time. Are we supposed to think that's a good thing? ["That part isn't true, but the colour lasts." -- Wing Chun] Tyra tells the girl that the commercial was really good, and Nigel gives a fake clap.

Melrose is first to be evaluated, and we see her best take. Nigel says that she has a beautiful smile, and to be able to talk and smile like that is the reason that Cover Girl would hire Melrose for their commercial. Talking and smiling is the new splitting the atom. Then Victorio or Lucchino says that he has never met such a magnificent, fresh young speaker. Apparently, Italy is filled with mutes. Melrose understands "magnifico" and "fresca," and is pleased. Tyra then says, "So, Melrose," and it almost sounds like she's saying "Smellrose," which would have been awesome. Everyone then looks at her Cover Girl ad. Miss J. says that he wishes her lips hadn't been so stiff. Tyra is disappointed by Melrose's film, and wasn't sure if she was nervous or if she's not a natural beauty-shot girl. Well, she's not a natural beauty, so that would stand to reason.

America's Next Top Model

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP