America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Djb: A- | 535 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Stopping Short

As part of discovering their own personal styles by becoming other people entirely, here's a who's who of tomorrow's Vegas impersonator acts: Catie is Marilyn Monroe; Mercedes is Billie Holliday; April is Catherine Zeta-Jones; Shandi is going to be an extremely unconvincing Nicole Kidman; Sara is going to be Angelina Jolie; Camille is Diana Ross; Jenascia is a shorter Salma Hayek; Yoanna is Audrey Hepburn; and Xiomara is going to be -- who? Grace Jones? Is it Grace Jones? Is it? It is, right? -- Grace Jones. I'm totally surprised.

And so is Xiomara. Sitting in a chair with her arms all angrily crossed, Xiomara grouses so much that Tyra has to come to the rescue by telling Xiomara what an exciting transformation it will be because of how much Xiomara doesn't look like Grace Jones at all! Andrew tells us that Jenascia didn't really carry her doppelganger star's confidence, and, at least according to the editing, it looks like she responds to one of Tyra's movement suggestions with a sarcastic "Do this! Do this!" that actually elicits a nasty glare from Tyra. Sara pulls off her Angelina, but Andrew thinks she's holding back just a bit. Shandi was nominated for as many Nicole Kidman impersonation Oscars as Nicole Kidman has recently been nominated for actual Oscars. To Andrew, April is "that unique find that turns up now and again." Meanwhile, back at Jackrabbit Slim's, Catie pulls off an okay Marilyn. And then there's Xiomara, who is painted head to toe and wearing what appears to be a garbage bag on her head in an outfit she got into facing the wrong way. So, yes, looking pretty much exactly like Grace Jones. "I didn't think I looked like her," Xiomara tells us afterward, "But now I know I do." Weirdest. One to grow on. Ever.

Tyra Mail wants us to know that it's elimination day tomorrow, and that only eight more girls will continue on their way to becoming America's Next Top Model. This seems like a good time for ruminating: Xiomara is "nervous," Catie is "nervous," and Jenascia has to bail from her strict Atkins regimen on account of her being so obviously toast.

Back in the elimination room, the girls enter in simple black dresses, which Tyra tells us reminds of her of "sexified Catholic school," even though what they really are is "Robert Palmer video gone...right?" She reintroduces the panel of "crazy" judges, which this week includes Crazy Betsey Johnson. The girls are then sent to stand in front of a table holding accessories of all kinds, with which they have sixty seconds to doll up the little black dress for a night out on the town. Yoanna is first up, and she wears only the pearls and is told she's nailed the look totally. Her Audrey shot appears in black & white on the cover of a fake (well, I HOPE it's fake, but whoever designed it hasn't worked since he mocked up those fake TV covers for Just Shoot Me) magazine entitled ANTM, and Nigel deems the eyes "fantastic." Betsey hops in with her own opinion: "Yeah! Boom!" It's amazing that this woman has come so far in her career when the sum total of her verbal communication skills seems to derive from sound effects in Batman and Robin battle sequences.

America's Next Top Model

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