Tyra "That's Really Super, Supergirl" Banks enters the ZoLoft with a man I'll guesstimate is, well, Jenascia's dad? Why? Because he's so wee! Tyra's own personal style seems to be typified by an adherence to her own favorite clothing designer, '80s luminary Z. Cavaricci, since she is decked out in a one-piece denim pantsuit that looks in fabric and waistline a leeetle too similar to the eponymous fashion classic and makes me have to plug up my TV speakers to stop the reckless smell of Drakkar Noir suddenly pouring out from them. Tyra tells the assembled girls, "Today you guys are going to be learning about personal style." She introduces her small friend Simon Doonon, who is the creative director of Barney's, the guy who invented windows ("But you must be mad! Glass is but a liquid," they all said before Simon), and the man that launched a thousand annoying and identically-sounding Randy Newman songs by having "no reason to live." Even at 4'6", though, like, eleven Jenascia's could fit inside one Simon Doonan. And why? Because conventional wisdom tells us that she is short.
Awwww! Even Simon's voice is widdle! No wonder he likes to spend so much time around the optical illusions windows so often provide. I guess "Funhouse Designer" wasn't a respectable enough career field for him to get into, even if he secretly thinks it was his calling. Simon introduces himself by saying, "In New York, you never know who [sic] you're going to run into. So you have to think about how you dress every single day." That may be the single most depressing sentiment I've ever heard expressed, actually, but Tyra echoes it and tells the girls they always need to be ready to be photographed. To that end, Tyra decides to show off some of photographs of her own "personal style gone wrong," when she's ended up on Worst Dressed lists. One is of her in a black dress and a bikini top. One was when she hosted the Oscar pre-show in 2000 in a purple wedding dress. One, if historical accuracy is a prized asset on this show, will be when she unsheathes a Polaroid camera and takes a photo of herself right now.