The Mother Of All finally returns to play, and her first victim is some Jesus-freak truck driver she hooks up with at a gas station near Sandusky, Ohio. Upon gaining access to his cab, she immediately proceeds to fill his ear canal with a gigantic and turd-like worm that burrows its way into the guy's brain, in the process turning him into a homicidal lunatic who subsequently whacks his family to death with a ball-peen hammer. The boys plus Bobby immediately head over to investigate, of course, only to learn that dear old Rufus Turner has more or less beaten them to the punch, so the four bang their heads together in an attempt to puzzle out a solution to this week's primary mystery until one of the trucker's coworkers whips out a semiautomatic rifle and blows away a dozen or so of his colleagues over at the cannery. Deciding the place must be a nexus of foul and wicked otherworldly activity, or something, Our Intrepid Heroes and their very special guests sneak in after hours, and are most surprised, indeed, when they find Zombie Grandpa and the last surviving Campbell Cousin lurking around the gloomy interior.
That surprise, however, is nothing compared to the levels of shock they experience when Dreary El Deano almost immediately blows a couple of holes through the surviving Campbell Cousin's torso with his trusty pearl-handled automatic. Mother's mischievous earworm, you see, had been chilling out amongst the toxic Lake Erie walleyes, lying in wait for Our Intrepid Heroes and their very special guests, and it wasted no time temporarily infecting Dreary El Deano's brain once they'd arrived. The boys plus Bobby plus Rufus plus Zombie Grandpa promptly barricade themselves inside the cannery with Mother's little present, because everyone knows evil earworms are too classy to escape through common sewer drains. Or something like that. The malicious turd then infects Zombie Grandpa and Bobby, each in his turn, and the various fisticuffs and firefights that ensue leave both Zombie Grandpa and poor Rufus dead before Sam and Dean finally manage to electrocute the thing while it's still in Bobby's body.
And in the end, as Bobby pours one out over his fallen homie's grave, the three survivors grant each other general absolution for any and all past misdeeds, because it is suddenly important that they do so, and we head into the spring hiatus wondering once again why the hell this show was renewed for a sixth season in the first place.
Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter THEN! Once upon a time, Rufus Turner showed up unannounced at Bobby's Emporium deep within the lush coastal rainforests of southeastern South Dakota, looking to bury a body. A little while later, Zombie Grandpa showed up unannounced at Dreary El Deano's cell deep within the decrepit insane asylum Crowley was using to house his various monsters, looking to jeer at Our Intrepid Hero. And a little while before all that, Girl Campbell showed up unannounced deep within the sodden season premiere, looking to annoy every single human being on the face of the planet. Meanwhile, Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon took it upon himself to offer free makeovers to a variety of positively tragic brunettes, and he was so successful, his star protégée ended up with a multiple-episode contract for the rest of the season. "See?!" shrieks Raoul. "I told you I work miracles!" You told me nothing of the sort, my scaly friend, but we'll not be dwelling on that at the moment, as we must make room for the...
...Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! The camera drifts down through the darkness that follows the NOW!'s retreat to land amid the center island of a nighttime filling station, where it finds a middle-aged gent from the Starlight Cannery of Sandusky, Ohio, just now topping off the tank of his semi. The craggy trucker turns away from us to shove the nozzle back into the pump, and when he spins back around, he finds himself face to face with...Raoul's star protégée! "Doesn't she look faaaaab-ulous!?" Raoul shrieks again, and I must admit, friend of friends, that you did a fantastic job on her. "Thanks!" Now, be quiet so we can get to the point where this loser whacks his family to death with a claw hammer. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I wouldn't exactly call that "quiet," Raoul. "Oh, I beg your pardon, I'm sure! Please continue!" As you wish.
"Whoa!" the craggy trucker Keanus. "I'm sorry," Raoul's star protégée smiles, though I'm certain she's not actually sorry at all. Call it a hunch. "Did I scare you?" she continues. The craggy trucker's about to offer her various assurances that she did not, I'm sure, when he finds his attention distracted by her bare feet, and really, Raoul? You couldn't find a decent pair of sensible yet stylish heels for the poor girl? "Don't look at me!" Raoul sighs, one weary -- albeit impeccably manicured -- paw rising to rest upon his addled brow. "I offered her littrily scores of only the finest, but she insisted upon that...! That...! Oh, I just can't!" There, there, you poor thing. Have a sip of your cocktail, and I'll keep this moving, okay? "Okay! [Slurp!]"