Angel
Birthday

Episode Report Card
Strega: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Wes: Mostly Armless

Outside, Gunn finishes loading the dead demon into his truck. Cordy is explaining as best she can about the address and her strange feelings lately. Wesley offers to check his books for any clues, and Cordy smiles at the familiarity of it all. Or perhaps she smiles at how lucky she was to avoid ending up in a world where she heard him say that over and over and over again. Gunn clears his throat, and Wesley introduces Gunn to Cordelia as "my partner, Charles Gunn." Yes, fine. I snickered. You people are sick. This seems like a good time to mention that I believe Gunn has some scars on his face in this reality, which is terrible. Wesley, however, only has one arm, which kind of makes up for it. It's not just his hand, either; his whole left arm is gone. Hey! In this reality, Lindsey would have both hands! And he'd still be at Wolfram & Hart. I definitely prefer this world. Wesley explains that a Kungai demon took his arm off a few years ago. Gunn marvels at the fact that Wesley really does know a famous TV star. Cordy mentions their embarrassing kiss, and Wesley cuts short the "forced march down memory lane." Gunn finds an excuse to mention Angel obliquely, which causes a blipvert.

Cordy, Wesley, and Gunn arrive at what I think is Wesley's apartment. Wesley expositions, "[Angel] came to Los Angeles in pain, vulnerable. When Doyle, his only friend, died, he retreated into himself." Gunn adds, "Him getting the visions didn't help, either." Cordy goes over the facts in case nobody figured it out yet: Angel gets the visions, Wesley and Gunn take care of the monsters. I'd try to come up with theories about how, in the state he's in, Angel managed to prevent Wolfram & Hart's dastardly schemes, but honestly? Don't care. Wesley goes on trying to set an ominous tone, but I don't care about that, either. He mentions that Angel occasionally sends the MoG out to save people he killed hundreds of years ago. Are they sure he's crazy? Because maybe he's just been making fun of them and they haven't caught on. Cordy insists on seeing Angel, and Wesley unlocks the door. Have I mentioned how extraordinarily blue this apartment is? It's really, really blue.

And so is Angel's room. His keepers have thoughtfully given him a bare mattress, and manacles dangle from the ceiling. Wesley explains, "Sometimes the visions make him violent." Angel himself is cowering in the dark, muttering "171 Oak, 171 Oak," in a full Rain Man. And yet his hair's still the same, and he even shaved. Not that I really wanted to see Angel with a big Grizzly Adams beard and long hair, but...Okay, I kinda did. It'd be funny. Angel goes on talking quickly about how it's his fault, and he's okay, and assorted other gibberish. He finally stretches out seductively on the mattress and sing-songs, "I'll never tell..." Not really. Cordy goes over and asks Angel if he remembers her. Angel responds by crawling over to a corner and moaning, "I'm afraid." So he does remember her! He remembers the real Cordelia, who was bitchy and mean! And naturally he's scared of this saccharine doppelganger. Cordy moves toward him again. Angel talks about being afraid to die, and mimes writing "171" on the wall. Cordy insists, "Everything's going to be okay," and for no reason I will ever understand, leans in and kisses him. Replay of the blue kissy-kissy light that we saw when Doyle kissed Cordy. Everyone else is frozen as Cordy stands up and announces, "I remember everything." Turns out she's talking to Skip, who's vexed that she's ruining their deal. He says that what she's doing is "noble, and heroic, and all that other Russell-Crowe- Gladiator crap." Could they have wedged that reference in any less seamlessly? Oh yeah, Skip's review: "Didn't love it." I'm with him on that one, at least. Skip repeats the whole skull-blown-out difficulty, but Cordy is adamant about being vision-girl. He finally admits that "there may be a tiny loophole." And what would that be? Funny you should ask; he's about to explain: "The only way you get to keep the visions is by becoming [dramatic pause] part demon." Oh, for fuck's sake. He says that it'll hurt worse than her visions did, and that the side effects will be "numerous and unpredictable." Cordy doesn't care. Skip suddenly changes tone and says, "It was an honor being your guide, Cordelia Chase." I pause the tape until I can stop laughing. Maybe the problem is that the Mutant Enemy people are so busy that they haven't actually seen any other TV shows in the past six years, and so they have no clue that while lines like that might have passed twenty years ago, at this point they're ever so slightly cheesy. Skip raises a hand, and Cordy screams.

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Angel

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