Angel
Couplet

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Angel vs. The Too-Accurate Metaphor

Cordy's in the office. Angel enters and points out that Groo is wearing his clothes. Cordy, who should have had someone do her hair while she was having spa day, blithers about how nicely Angel's clothes fit Groo, and then before Angel can interrupt, says, "I need your help." Angel asks if she had a vision, but Cordy says no, it's personal, and she wouldn't ask but it's something only he can do. Angel smoothes the irritation from his face, takes Cordy's shoulders and has her sit down, then sits himself. Cordy goes on stammering that Angel's already done so much for her, and she hates to ask him for anything else, and so on. Angel looks very sincere and caring as he looks at her and finally says, "Just tell me what I can do." This just makes me mad. Because I think the only times I've really liked Angel are when he's being a good friend to Cordy in scenes like this one, and now it's all ruined. Oh wait, I also like him when he's beating up Riley. And punching Buffy. But those things don't happen very often, so it's mostly seeing him be Cordy's friend that I like. And now scenes like that are just set-up for stupid punchlines like having Cordy say, "I need you to help me have sex. With Groo." The soundtrack spasms again as we pan over to see Groo out in the lobby. It's funny because, you know, um...well, Cordy said "sex." I suppose that might be funny somehow. Use the commercial break to recover from this remarkable display of wit. Sometimes I think maybe I'm being too hard on the show. But then I watch it.

When we return, Cordy is explaining. I don't know why she feels the need to explain, but she does, so we've all got to hear about how she's tired of being lonely, and she's using the visions as an excuse for something unspecified. It's not a very satisfying explanation, which is funny since I didn't think any explanation was needed to begin with. Wesley and Groo are out in the lobby, talking about something. Groo is making odd gestures, and Wesley is waving his hands around the book, and it's a lot more interesting than what's going on in the foreground. Anyway, Cordy says that she "worked it out" based on Wesley's mention of a, so help me, "paranormal prophylactic." Cordy insists, "I couldn't be the only woman on earth that had some supernatural gift that could be lost through physical intimacy." Angel agreeably says, "Stands to reason." She says that there is a potion that she can take to protect her visionitude. As luck would happen, the potion is available right there in L.A., from a woman named Anita who's "kind of in the business" of making love potions and so on. Cordy's already placed an order, so she hands over what she says is nearly all of her money, and asks him to go make the pick-up. Maybe because he's the one with a car. Angel quite reasonably asks why Groo can't go (no car?), but Cordy says that Groo is going, and she just wants Angel to tag along. She explains, "I can't send him into a demon brothel all by himself! I mean, I trust him, but I'm not crazy." Angel blinks at the word "brothel," and Cordy explains, "You'd be safe there. No woman's gonna tempt you, right?" Groo wanders over and asks if they're ready to go, then puts an arm around Angel and thanks him for helping. Cue the soundtrack from hell.

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Angel

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