Angel
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Angel vs. The Too-Accurate Metaphor

Gunn and Fred are wandering around under the big tree, looking for Jerry. Fred points out that Jerry's car is still there, so he can't have gone far. Gunn finds a rose that Jerry was carrying on the ground. Eventually they remember that they were recording what was happening on the small but undoubtedly quite expensive video camera, so Fred pushes rewind. They watch on the camera as Jerry stands under the tree. And then something wraps around him, and he suddenly drops through the earth and out of sight. Fred sighs, "Well, that can't be good." And then long tendrils of something wrap around Gunn and Fred and pull them underground. You'd think they'd have noticed that they were standing on top of a big hole.

Cut to Hollywood Bordello, already in progress. Wait, it's still Angel after all. I can tell, because the whores have extra breasts, and the story doesn't make as much sense as Hollywood Bordello did. A woman we can safely assume is Anita escorts Groo and Angel down the hall, as she compliments them on their "outfits." Angel doesn't like that word. Johanna used to ask a friend about his different outfits, and he got a little touchy about it and reminded her that he was in the Reserves, and they were called "uniforms." Heh. Anita asks if the guys are "together," and Groo obliviously says that they are "two champions here together," just as I was thinking maybe they'd retired the C-word after all. Angel quickly corrects Groo, and says they're just "get-the-potion together." Groo adds, "So I may com-shuk my princess." These people all need to look up the word "discretion" and learn to apply it to their everyday lives. Angel's too busy making sure that Anita knows that he isn't the princess in question. He's distracted by giggling, and looks through an open doorway where a couple is having a pillow fight. This must be a brothel for people who are easily entertained. Anita claims that the room is enchanted so that "every touch, every emotion, every desire is extended for maximum pleasure." Okay, but maybe you should look into getting it a door that closes. She leads them into another bedroom. One wall of the otherwise lavish suite has a stone facade, and there's a man wearing a shirt, tie, and boxers manacled to the wall. The man says hello, and Groo rushes over to "rescue" him. Can I say again that this brothel should maybe respect the privacy of its guests a little more? Anyway, Groo starts trying to open the manacles, while the man protests. Angel goes over and tells Groo that the man is happy where he is. "As a slave?" Groo asks. The man says, "Don't judge me," which is odd because it seems like he's paying to have someone come in and judge him. In a different way, I admit. Let's just be glad that the soundtrack is napping, and move on to where Angel pays Anita for the potion. She lifts her hand up out of the shot and pulls down a bottle, which shimmers with post-production effects. Such magic. Anita tells them that the "princess" has to drink the whole bottle all at once. Then she hands Groo the bottle and turns to ask Angel why he came along on the field trip. "What's in it for you?" she asks, because it's time for Angel to have a dramatic realization about something uninteresting. We're spared that, however, when Angel's cell phone rings. Groo says, "Angel, your coat is singing." Heh. Angel answers the phone and says, "Gunn? I can barely hear you."

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Angel

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