Angel
Angel

Episode Report Card
894 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Blonde on Bland

A stained-glass window gives us a clue as to the setting. An unkempt Angelus leans against something as Darla enters the room. She hugs him, saying, "We made quite a mess out there. Blood and habits everywhere." That rhymed! Angelus says, "Convents. They're just a big cookie jar." While they kiss, a voice says, "Black sky. It wants a lit'le wormy me!" Oh, that wacky Dru. Angelus and Darla stop and look over to where Drusilla is cowering on the floor, crying. Darla asks why Drusilla is there, and I wonder why Darla didn't see her immediately. "I thought you killed her," Darla says. Angelus replies, "Just her family." He lunges down to the floor, taking Darla with him, as Dru scoots away. Dru mutters, "Eyes like arrows. Like needles." She's probably thinking of Rudolph Valentino. Well, she does see the future, y'know. Angelus explains, "This one's special. I have big plans for her." He and Darla make out while Dru repeats, "Snake in the woodshed!" several times. It's as if Dru and Darla are in a contest to see who can annoy the audience more. Darla rolls on top of Angelus and asks, "Do we kill her during, or after?" Sobbing, I reach for the rum. Angelus says, "Neither," and sits up with Darla atop him. Victorian fashion really enchanced Darla's breasts. A lot. Yikes. Angelus proposes that they turn Drusilla into a vampire. He explains, "Killing is so merciful in the end, isn't it? The pain is ended." Darla points out that Drusilla is...well, nuts. "Eternal torment," Angelus explains, and rolls over so that they are in Dru's lap. "Am I learning?" he asks. If Dru wasn't nuts before, that certainly would push her over the edge. They kiss again, and Dru laughs at Angelus's hair. When they still don't stop kissing, she starts crying. I know her pain.

Angel's still lurking outside the Kramer house. Darla carries her plate into the kitchen and throws it to the ground. My god, she's not just evil, she's a careless housekeeper! "Lindsey, I'm waiting," she declares. From his office, Lindsey says, "You're on. Have fun." Darla picks up the phone and dials 911. Her voice quavering, she says, "My name is Deetta Kramer, I live at 1409 Galloway. There's a man outside. I told him to go away. Oh my god, he's breaking into the house! He's gonna kill us! Help me!" As she throws the phone down, Stephen expresses some ethical qualms. Darla tells the security guy, "Do it, and make it look real." The security guy vamps out and backhands her.

Angel

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP