Dear Boy

Episode Report Card
Blonde on Bland

Previously on Angel, Kate and Angel had a spat, Lindsey lost his hand in a scene that never stops being funny, and Darla did really icky things involving Angel's chest.

A ghostly image of Darla chuckles as the sun rises. After a blippier-than-usual blipvert, we're treated to some high-speed travel down the city streets at night, and finally arrive at the hotel, where it's day again. It's been thirteen seconds, and already I'm confused. I guess it's been a while since Bethany's visit, since all of the windows on the hotel's top floor have been repaired. Angel strides into the lobby and sits down as Wesley says, "I made you some tea." "Tea"? Has the world gone mad? Have they actually consumed all the coffee in the world? Angel looks at the mug sitting on the table in front of him, but is apparently too tired to reach for it. If that were my brother, he'd make sad puppy-dog eyes until my mom or I gave up and handed the mug to him. And then we'd have to go find a bendy-straw so that he wouldn't have to sit up in order to drink. I know, it's ridiculous, but you simply can't understand the power of his puppy-dog eyes unless you've seen them. Anyway, since Angel lacks this power, Cordy simply says, "You must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days." She gripes to Wesley, "It's like living with the world's oldest teenager." Which is ironic, since Cordelia is the world's oldest "teenager." Speaking of things that are old, Cordy and Wesley start bickering again. This time it's about money. Eventually Cordy suggests that Wesley's salary could be cut, and Wesley suggests that she should have a vision instead. Cordy snaps, "It's not like you can hit me in the head and, wham, it happens!" Wesley picks up a heavy volume and says, "What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?" Memo to all writers: if your name isn't Glen Gordon Caron, you probably shouldn't be trying to write witty banter. Thanks. Angel turns to lie down on the loveseat, and says, "Children, stop bickering. Something will turn up. Something always does." Sure enough, Cordy goes visiony. She sees men in red robes fighting, and a green blob watching them.

Post-vision, Wesley shows various pictures to Cordelia but none of them resemble the blob she saw. Wesley should take her to a store that sells Halloween decorations; she'd spot it quickly enough. Instead, though, Cordy says, "Mush monster's not going anywhere; it's the place that we've gotta find. Its disciples are human, they're killing each other. I think the fight is over how to worship it." Behind them, Angel says, "This is why, personally, I rarely go to church." He looks around, waiting for the riotous laughter to begin. Cordy and Wesley ignore him. Angel mutters, "I thought it was funny." At least they're starting to acknowledge that his quips suck. Now if only they'd stop giving him quips at all. But alas, suddenly Victorian-era Darla is sitting in his lap, saying, "So did I." She truly is a force for evil, encouraging him like that. She and Angel kiss and snuggle.

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