Dear Boy

Episode Report Card
Blonde on Bland

Wesley asks Cordelia, "What did the place look like?" and Angel suddenly jumps awake, startling everyone, including me. Cordy says, "It felt sacred, in a twisted, demonic kind of way. It's underground, like in a tank or something, full of pillars." Angel figures it out: "St. Bridget's in Fremont. It's a convent built on native burial grounds. The land's cursed; they had eight murders in the past two years, before the whole place burned to the ground...Which is nothing compared to what happened in Our Lady of Lochenbee." Off the confused looks of the MoG, Angel explains, "I got a thing for convents." Ew. And note that he used present tense. Double ew. Angel goes on to say that the state bought the land and built a water tank there. They built a water tank. On native burial ground. No wonder they drink so much bottled water in California. Angel says they'll need muscle, so someone should call Gunn, and starts pulling weapons out of a cabinet. Wesley reaches for the phone, and we get a blobvert.

Monks are fighting. The Halloween decoration is drooling. Team MoG descend the stairs into a giant room full of pillars. Which are totally different from the pillars we normally see in the garage/warehouse set. Because they're round, not square, y'see. As they observe the fight, Gunn tells Angel, "You are not paying me enough for this." Hey, why don't they wait until the monks are done fighting? I'm thinking that there'll be considerably fewer of them by the time they're done. Also, they'll be tired. Angel asks Wesley if the blob is a Thrall demon, and Wesley says it is. Angel says, "So kill the big ugly, it un-thralls the groupies, and they stop killing each other." Wesley nervously says, "That's the theory. Thrall demons can be tricky." Cordy, thinking the way I do, says, "At least they're killing each other and not --" But then the blob spots them and growls, "Intruders!" The captioning says that his name is Turfos, by the way. The monks stop, look, and attack. The boys get to fighting, and Cordelia vanishes from the scene. Gunn gets to use his hubcap-axe. The kids at his camp will be so pleased. Gunn calls, "Angel, I'll try to get fat-head. Watch my back!" And by "fat-head," Gunn means the blob, not Wesley, by the way. More's the pity. Angel is busy punching a monk who's fallen to the floor. Gunn repeats, "Watch my back!" Angel punches. Gunn finally says, "Just keep beatin' on that big guy," and races toward the blob. Cordy suddenly reappears, armed with a dagger and heading for the blob, but a monk grabs her from behind. Wesley conks Cordy's attacker on the head, and Gunn rushes up with his axe raised. The blob wails, and Gunn dispatches the gruesome monster with...well, dispatch. The monks calm down. Angel keeps walloping the monk he caught until Wesley pulls him up and tells him to stop. And thus ends the only real action sequence in this episode. The rest of it's pretty much all conversation. Sigh.

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