Props to Dino Fekaris and Freddie Perren, and also to Cake, since their version was especially appropriate.
The WB went for an mondo-extended "previously on Angel" sequence with an extremely serious announcer, and I took it for an ad rather than the official "previously on" intro, so I didn't tape it. Alas and alack, that means I'll have to make up my own version. I think it goes something like this: When Angel was given a soul, first he was afraid, and petrified. He thought he couldn't live without Darla by his side. Then he spent some time thinking about how she, and everyone else he'd ever met, had done him wrong, and he grew strong, and learned how to get along. Then Darla came back from, well, it's not clear if it was heaven or hell or outer space, and Angel walked into his room to find her there with a certain look upon her face. He should have changed that stupid lock. Since he didn't, however, there's no option but crazy violent vamp sex.
The teaser starts by repeating the ending of last week's episode. I don't see any reason why I can't do the same thing, so: a storm brews outside. Lightning, thunder, gauzy curtains billowing in the wind. You know the drill. We pan across the discarded coat, scattered books, and Darla's dress, to the bed. Where Angel and Darla are sleeping. Angel's feet are uncovered. I can never sleep like that. Thunder cracks, and Angel suddenly bolts upright, grimacing in pain. He looks up, and then, instead of the screen going black, we cut to a view of his balcony. Whilst stumbling out into the thunderstorm, apparently disoriented and freaked out, Angel did take the time to put on pants, and he's struggling into a shirt as he collapses on the balcony. He's clearly not evil, or he would have left his shirt off in order to torture me. Lightning flashes. Darla wakes up and is instantly smug as she gets out of bed. Angel is still gasping and panting when Darla, a sheet wrapped around her, appears behind him and says, "Don't fight it, my love. Just let it happen. It'll only hurt for a minute." More grimacing, more storm, credits.
Thank goodness, Angel's still gasping when we return. I wouldn't want to miss a second of this. He also says, "Oh, God," occasionally. Darla offers reassuring words about how she knows how he feels. Angel finally stands up and faces her, and Darla says he needs a fresh kill to ease the transition. She raises her hand toward him and Angel grabs her wrist and stares at her wonderingly. He finally says, "You saved me." Darla confesses that she planned to kill him, but it turned out she didn't have to. Angel, still stupefied, if that doesn't go without saying, says, "I gave you everything I had left." Darla agrees, and Angel adds, "I'm so sorry." Darla dismisses that, but Angel puts her hand to his cheek and insists, "But I am. I am sorry." Darla looks horrified. Angel continues, "You saved me. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you." That looks so awkward with him still pressing her palm to his jaw as he talks. She backs away, gasps, "You still have a soul!" and heads back to the bedroom, with Angel following.