Angel
Eternity

Episode Report Card
Strega: D | 3 USERS: B+
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Eternity

While Rebecca jogs on a treadmill, she whines to Angel about how long it's been since she had to read for a part. "Suddenly I'm nobody again," she grouses. Angel tries to cheer her up by pointing out that she's still popular in the tabloids. She says, "According to those I've slept with Ernest Borgnine, and I'm bulimic." Angel says he's heard that Borgnine is a very skilled lover. Memo to the writers: How many times do I have to tell you, making fun of Angel is good, but giving Angel jokey lines is bad. Or at least, it's bad when his jokey lines aren't remotely funny. Rebecca has a brief moment of self-awareness as she says, "Listen to me, poor little rich girl." Angel uncomfortably tries to think of some way to disagree with her, but has trouble since she really is a twit, so the best he can do is to say that everyone has problems. Rebecca, delighted to turn the conversation right back to herself, says, "My problem involves getting this Fright Night guy off my back long enough to win this part." Fright Night, of course, did involve vampires, but not stalking, and I feel like a little joke was intended there, but I just can't figure out what it might have been. There's a knock at the door, although the captioning indicates, "[buzzer]" which I guess was changed when they realized that even Rebecca probably wouldn't have a doorbell just for her bedroom. Madonna maybe, but not Rebecca. She opens the door and takes some clothes from a maid, then asks Angel what his suit size is. Handing him the clothes she says, "I've got a premiere tonight. Can't go without my bodyguard."

Paparazzi blipvert. Angel escorts Rebecca down the red carpet into the theater. Angel's hair is parted neatly, which demonstrates why it's normally sculpted into such wild shapes, because he reaches unprecedented new levels of dorkiness when it's combed. Although if you compare it to Rebecca's hair, it doesn't seem so bad. Crowds of fans shout, "Raven!" The music lets us know that the ordinary tuxedoed gent lurking in the crowd is our mysterious stalker. Oh dear, he has a gun tucked under his jacket. Rebecca leads Angel out into that strange alley/hallway with catwalks that they always seem to end up in on this show. She explains, "I just come to these things for the photo-op; my driver knows to meet me out back." The stalker, up on the stairs, draws his gun and aims as Angel pushes Rebecca into a doorway. Angel leaps up and wrestles for the gun while Rebecca cowers, struggling and crying out as if the doorway is molesting her somehow. Angel and the stalker tumble down the stairs and trade punches. The stalker is finally knocked out, and Angel gives Rebecca a comforting hug to get her through the blipvert.

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Angel

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