Guise Will Be Guise

Episode Report Card
Strega: D | 1 USERS: B
Ham in a Hard Role

And now, a quote-heavy paragraph. There's a lot of funny bits here that I had to include. Bryce asks curiously, "She's impure? She's not a virgin?" He looks at Wesley and growls, "You..." as the gentle strains of the wackiness melody start again. "Whoa!" comments Gunn. "That's what 'impure' meant?" Cordelia is dumbfounded. Bryce says, "You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch." "You slept with her?" Cordy wonders. "A eunuch?!" Angel interrupts. Wesley explains, "Things happen. Two young people. Danger." Virginia still doesn't get it. Bryce tells Wesley, "She was a virgin before you got here." Virginia firmly declares, "I was not a virgin." Bryce is surprised. Wesley is relieved. Gunn says, "I coulda told you she wasn't no virgin." Which I suppose is sexist, but it's also funny, so I don't care. "I am not a eunuch!" Angel insists. Cordy, still stunned, says, "One day as Angel. One day, and he's getting some." She looks at Gunn, who shrugs. Bryce asks, "How could you? I kept you away from all men." No one listens as Angel mutters, "The curse isn't even all that clear." Virginia starts talking about the chauffeur Bryce hired when she was sixteen, and another one he hired when she was eighteen, and so on and so forth. "I even dated Rick," she tells him, and everyone looks as one of the hooded guards slips out of the room. Bryce hisses, "Don't do this. Don't make me angry!" Virginia says, "Right. Because then you might do something bad. You were going to kill me!" And with that, she decks him. "You are not my father any more," she says, and storms out. Angel quietly tells the fallen Bryce, "I'm not a eunuch."

Back at the Hyperion, Cordy has changed into a clingy dress and modified the ponytail so that it doesn't look so freakish. She hands Angel some pages torn out of a magazine and demands, "Look!" Angel looks at a photo of Wesley and Virginia laughing at a party. He reads: "Virginia Bryce, squired by Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, private detective and bodyguard to the stars..." Angel chuckles and asks, "Who says 'squired'?" Cordy instructs Angel to "look at him, all over her!" Angel says that Cordy is just jealous of the attention Wesley is getting. Cordy snaps, "Damn skippy!" Skippy? What'd he have to do with it? Isn't he off stalking Mallory Keaton somewhere? Oh, wait, it's an expression. She continues, "He's getting famous off this! Reflected glory? That's my thing!" Johanna tells me that "damn skippy" is no longer a hip expression. I didn't know it ever was one. Dude, I'm so square. Wait, we don't say that any more either, do we? I give up. Cordy, still upset, leaves. Angel looks at the article again, and repeats, "'Bodyguard to the stars'? Yeah, right." As we fade out to the recurring wackiness tune, he bitterly adds, "There's no Wyndam-Pryce agency." Hey, do you think anyone went back to tell Cary that his swami friend was murdered, and there's a spy at his club? Just wondering.

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