Back at Caritas, Merl tells Wesley and Gunn that James visited one Dr. Gregson earlier today. Gunn asks what kind of doctor Gregson is, and from behind the bar Cary answers, "A demon kind. Slod demon." Wesley asks for more information, and Cary says, "He's a collector."
The phone rings at Hyperion as, one assumes, Gunn tries to share this latest update. Wow. It's a rotary phone! I wait for Cordy to explain to the audience helpfully that once upon a time phones had actual dials, which is why we still say we "dial" phone numbers rather than "typing" them. I mean, they've explained nearly everything else that's happened in this episode. But instead, she's pulling out weapons while Angel and James shove each other around. Cordy, for inexplicable reasons, finally runs away from the weapons cabinet and picks up a fire extinguisher, which she hurls at James. It conks him on the head -- good arm! James falls down; Cordy returns to the cabinet and pulls a stake out of a drawer. You can see her tattoo when she bends over. I'm just saying. Oh, and if you pause to look at the stakes, you can see that they have odd decorative filigrees on the handle, because they were carved from old bits of furniture. That is a really nice detail. Yay, props department. Plus, I enjoy the image of all the characters passing the time on a slow night by smashing up furniture, and then trading stories as they whittle stakes by the fireplace. Not that the Hyperion has a fireplace. Oh, but Cordy's apartment does, so it still works. Huh? Oh, the show. Right. Cordy tosses the stake across the room to Angel, but James suddenly pops up and catches it. "Oops," says Cordy. James tumbles Angel to the floor and, while Angel struggles to push the stake away, grumbles, "You never loved anyone or anything. Go to hell." I wait for Angel to make some kind of "been there, done that" comment, but I guess they don't have time for that kind of exposition at this point. Instead, Cordy tries to pull James away, but he slams her across the lobby. That gives Angel an opportunity, though, and he flips James and stakes him. Angel hurries over to pick up Cordy, and they look over at the decidedly not-dusted James as he pulls the stake out and rushes toward Angel. Hm, there he is, and not so wounded as we were led to believe.
Oh my gosh, they're premiering some kind of theatrical trailer right now! Did you guys know about this? There's a lot of evil soldiers. And horsies! Okay, apparently there's this ring some dude needs "to cover all the lands of darkness." Cover them with what? More darkness? That seems excessive. Fate has chosen somebody. Isn't that just like fate? Oh, lord, there are the damn elves, whining about something. The Riders aren't as spooky as the ones in the animated version. On the other hand, the animated version had songs. So that's two ways in which it was scarier. Frodo hops into a boat while a Rider skids to halt on the dock. A fellowship will protect someone. What the heck is the Ghost of Christmas Present from A Muppet Christmas Carol doing in this? Evil will hunt various people. An elf can feel something drawing near. Is it the end of my patience? Ooo, creepy Rider climbing rocks. Rock-climbing Rider! I want a Rider action figure, with rock-climbing grip! Idiots are hiding and knocking skeletons down wells. Aiyee, a Ballhog! Now the idiots are shouting on a snowy cliff, and causing an avalanche. Hooray for natural selection. CGI snaky things. Dramatic music which somehow manages to avoid being Carmina Burana while still sounding exactly like it. Angsty Hobbits. Much swordplay. Liv Tyler-fu. "This Christmas, the legend comes to life." Gandalf imitating the bridge-keeper from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Okay, it looked pretty, but I still hate Tolkien. And there's no Gollum. He's the only character I liked. Shut up. Aw, there's Cal Ripken Jr. Wait, that's a different commercial. Sorry.