Hell Bound

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 1 USERS: A
Don't Fear The Reaper. Seriously, Don't. He's Lame.

A moment of silence, please, for Jack Elam, and props to elishavah and ostentatious.

Tonight's episode contains "graphic and disturbing violent images and partial nudity." What a coincidence, since this recap will contain graphic and violent language. Incidentally, I spent most of a week worrying about this episode, because I think DeKnight is a pretty sharp writer, so I figured that if he couldn't at least make the show watchable, I was going to wind up back in the bad, dark place I was at the start of Season Three. Since there's not much suspense in the show's plot, maybe we can wrangle some kind of tension out of whether or not I'm driven mad.

Fred walks down a high-definition hallway at Wolfram & Hart and enters the lab as a worker leaves for the night. She's got a pretty dress on under the "I'm a geek" cardigan. But I'm still not a fan of the heels-without-hose look. Wear sandals. Fred suddenly turns around because she can feel the camera zooming in on her; she turns back, and Spicule's standing there. Fred fakes an "Aaa!" and drops her books. Spicule complains that she knew he was there, and Fred tries to soothe his incorporeal ego while Spicule complains that he can't "spirit the knickknacks about" or "willie the locals," and I file both items under "expressions that sound dirty but really aren't." Fred tells us all again that Spicule is a very special ghost: "I've never seen anything like you." I think that's implied, Fred, since you keep going on about how he's visible and shouldn't be. Spicule wonders if he's incorporeal because he's "using all [his] mentalies just to keep from slipping into hell." So he's hanging by a thread, then? Also: "mentalies"? Fred says she's got a plan, but she can't explain it because the teaser isn't really the right place for boring technobabble. Save that for the climax! She says she'll make him "as real as a vampire with a soul can be" as a way of sidestepping into a mention of Angel's old Shanshu prophecy. According to her, the prophecy says that "if Angel helps enough people, he gets to be human again." Holy fuck, it does not! If Wesley's translation was accurate -- and let's not even get into the odds against that -- the prophecy is that "the vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will Shanshu, become human." It's not about collecting enough tokens and turning them in for a stuffed animal, it's about "fulfilling his destiny." Which could be anything. It could be that Angel's destiny was to bring about world peace, and that Jasmine was going to play Blue Fairy once she got that temple. Okay, Fred doesn't know that, but she should at least pay attention to what the prophecies say if she's going to talk about them as if they still matter. Where were we? Oh right, Spicule was whining. By the way, Spicule, if you wanted to be human, maybe you should have asked for that instead of just a soul. Presumably you didn't do that because you wanted to have the girl and the superpowers. So get over it. Fred technobabbles about the Amulet of Assitude and how maybe she can use it to make Spicule corporeal, and then Spicule moves to lean on a table and promptly falls through it. And the floor. Fred wants to make him corporeal because why?

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