Hell Bound

Episode Report Card
Strega: C- | 1 USERS: A
Don't Fear The Reaper. Seriously, Don't. He's Lame.

Angel's still grumpy, and Spicule reminisces that Angel "never was one for small talk." Is he kidding? He says that Angel was always "trying to perfect that brooding block-of-wood mystique." No, really, is he kidding? Are they talking about when Angel was evil? I'm not just talking about last season -- check out those flashbacks in the first two seasons. When he's evil, you can't shut him up. Then Spicule and Angel go back and forth making fun of each other. It's painful and seems like fanfic, in that it's not a conversation that makes sense for the characters or advances the story: it's just cute references for their own sake because that's what fans like. It's best summed up by the fact that Spicule calls Angel "Liam," and I won't retract my kiss, but I don't think DeKnight should do comedy banter. Sniping and hair-mockery over with, Angel and Spicule sit on the couch, staring into space. And then I have a chance to win R.E.M. tickets if I log on to my local WB affiliate's website, according to a giant scrolling message on the bottom of my screen. Oh, we're starting to sneak up on the plot again, I guess I'll pay attention. Angel finally admits that he did like Spicule's poems. Spicule snaps, "You like Barry Manilow!" Spicule turns away in a huff and sees a hanged man dangling in the middle of the room. Angel doesn't. The body vanishes, and Spicule nervously decides that it's nothing. But then the hanged guy, de-noosed, is standing behind Angel. At this point, if I were Angel, I'd mess with Spicule's head and get all the creepy beings I could find, get them up in the office pronto, and then tell Spicule that I didn't see anyone else there.

Cut to Spicule in the lobby, trying to explain what he's seeing to Angel and the MoG. And Eve, sigh. Spicule gets all frantic and schizoid, and keeps interrupting himself to yell at the ghosts. Gunn says that, according to their security-mystics, Spicule is the only ghost in the building. The armless woman tells Spicule, "It's coming for you." Spicule tells the MoG to check again for ghosts. The un-hanged man says, "It's here." Spicule tells Fred that she has to help him, and then he fades away. Fred wonders where he went. Angel explains that he does this sometimes. Oh my lord, she knows that! And so do we! And if we didn't, you know what? It wouldn't matter! The fact that he sometimes vanishes is completely irrelevant in this episode! Argh! (Do you want to go back and change your vote on how long till I go crazy?) Then we see that Spicule is still standing right there, but clearly the MoG can't see him. He gets annoyed that they're all ignoring him, and then they leave to go looking for him. Spicule shouts, "I'm here, I'm still here! Fred!" A low voice says, "She can't help you now, William. No one can." And then there's the obligatory evil chortle.

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