In The Dark

Episode Report Card
Strega: D | Grade It Now!
In The Dark

But alas, Angel is hanging in chains in a warehouse. Spike says that Marcus, the bald guy, is "a bloody king of torture, he is. Humans, demons, politicians, it makes no difference." Marcus has put some Mozart on a portable record player (Records? What're those?) and is pulling pliers and various other nasty-looking things out of a trunk. Spike continues, explaining that "Beneath the cool exterior, you'll find he's rather shy. Except with kids. You like kids, don't you, Marcus? Well, likes to eat. And other nasty things..." Marcus opens Angel's shirt to reveal his hairless chest, and comments, "His skin..." Spike responds, "Annoying isn't it? It's still attached." Marcus continues his examination, noting that Angel still has his soul, and comments that "creatures with souls have something to lose." Spike says, "Souls, fingers, toes, let's get chopping, shall we? I want my damn ring." He looks really cute in this scene. Angel tries to act like he's not scared, the big baby, so Marcus sticks a hot poker through him. Marcus continues sticking sharp things into Angel, and repeatedly asks him what he wants. Among Angel's answers is "a good pair of running shoes you can also wear out to dinner." Oh, fine: heh. Spike is getting bored with watching Angel getting tortured, and is anxious to get the ring, but Marcus insists that patience is required. As Marcus goes to heat up some more pokers, Angel tells Spike that he's an idiot to hire Marcus, since Marcus is also a vampire. After all, if Marcus finds out where the ring is, he'll take it for himself and Spike still won't get it. Spike insists that Marcus doesn't care about anything but "taking blokes apart one piece at a time. It's called addiction, Angel; we all have them [sic]. I believe yours is named Slutty the Vampire Slayer." The record ends, and Spike mentions that he ran into Buffy recently, although he doesn't mention that their encounter was part of an amazingly lame episode. Spike tells Angel, "Your name didn't come up, although she has been awful busy jumpin' the bones of the very first lunkhead who came along. Good-looking fellow. Used her shamelessly. She is cute when she's hurting, isn't she?" Hee hee hee. Angel swallows his heartbreak, to which I say, "Whatever," and responds "She's cuter when she's kicking your ass." Again, maybe I'm biased (gee, y'think?), but Angel's quips don't cut quite as deeply as Spike's. Marcus starts the music up again and starts up with the pokers again, while Spike heads out for some fresh air.

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