Moonvert. Angel and Spicule walk through a cemetery. It's still the same night? Poor Angel must be so sleepy. Angel asks if he's sure, and Spicule insists that it's for the best. Angel puts the amulet on top of a gravestone and, after giving it a goodbye kiss, picks up a handy urn to smash it with. I think a hammer would be a little more effective -- you don't smash a crystal with a clay pot. Plus, then this next bit would have been even funnier. Angel raises the urn and then clobbers himself in the head with it. Heh. Angel looks at the urn with some confusion. Spicule says, "I think you missed." Angel hits himself again, then makes a face as he levitates. Hainsley steps out and declaims, "And the dead shall rise! Just 'cause I say so." Hainsley explains that he "wields power over all things lifeless." Yes. We know. He gestures, and Angel is whapped into a wall. Spicule complains that Hainsley took too long to appear. Gasp, it's a double-cross! Hainsley says that he'll give Spicule his reward soon, and looks over at the unconscious Angel. Not like that.
Commercials. Johanna and I discuss Angel's apartment. Do they all live in the Wolfram & Hart building now? It'd be funny if the rest of the MoG are living at the Hyperion, and now it's Party Central because Angel isn't there moping around. And then one day they could have an episode where Angel needs to find them for some urgent problem, and they aren't answering the phone, and then he goes to the Hyperion and there's a rave going on there.
So, this is not good. Although it's not as painful as the premiere. And I keep trying to decide if, bizarrely, now my expectations are too high, because I'd actually enjoyed watching the show for a quite a while. And, to be fair, I hated hated hated the first third or so of Season Three, and then I adored the latter part so much that SNeaker is still disappointed in me. I find this pretty painful, but it's early, right? Maybe Spicule will get lost in a hell dimension and then he'll abruptly fall from the ceiling a few episodes later and be sorta evil. It could happen. There's certainly a precedent for it, right?
When we return, Angel is lying on the table in the pentagram room. And there's a slit in his shirt so we can see his belly button. Thanks so much, that's just about the least flattering thing you could do. Angel starts to sit up, but Hainsley shoves him back down with another gesture and explains that he has power over dead bodies, and that Angel is dead. Yes, yes, thank you, we heard about that. Angel reminds Hainsley that the Senior Partners might get miffed if Hainsley kills him. Spicule explains the devious plan: "Necro here's gonna give me my body back after I take yours for a test drive, fix his little problems." He adds that he'll also get to play with Angel's cool new toys: "Your cars, your fancy digs, everything -- everyone -- I deserve will be mine." He adds that maybe he'll "have a go with that Fred. She looks like a goer." Hainsley says he's never done this with a conscious dead body before, and that it might be painful. Not that he cares. More Tuvan humming. Hand to Angel's stomach. Orange glowing blobs. Spicule is sucked into Hainsley's arm, but then the glow stops around Hainsley's right elbow. Hainsley grunts, "What are you doing?" He screams, "No!" and pulls his arm out of Angel. Angel punches Hainsley and does a neat little roll over Hainsley's back and they face off. Hainsley makes another gesture and suddenly there's a huge plot twist as Hainsley explains that he can control the dead. I had no idea! He throws Angel across the room and twitches as he claims, "Your ghost can't control me for long!" He gestures again, but Angel is unmoved. Literally. Angel clobbers Hainsley a few times and shoves him into a table. Hainsley gets up, and his stunt double gets in a few punches before Angel grabs a platter up off a table and throws it like a Frisbee so that it cuts off Hainsley's head. Spicule's head is shown poking up from behind Hainsley's body in an effect that I don't think worked very well at all. Hainsley's body falls as Spicule says, "Oh, bollocks." That's his reaction to everything. Probably because that's where his brains are. Angel asks, "That was you hitting me?" and Spicule admits that yes, it was at the end. He explains, "I had to get a few licks in, didn't I?" And then they both start to laugh, and there's a freeze-frame shot, and roll credits on this freakish little Police Squad meets Kolchak show.
Only not quite. The next day, after a solid twenty minutes of sleep, Angel is back at work and explaining to Wesley about the plan he and Spicule had. Incidentally: first we had Hauser, and now Hainsley. So we've dropped the idea that "L. M." initials equal evil, and moved on to just the letter "H"? Wesley says that if Spicule is going to stick around, he should share his plans with everyone. Yeah, like the audience, because I hate these stupid fake-outs. Angel says that Spicule isn't good at sharing. Harmony makes another malapropism. Sigh. I was okay with the concept of Harmony being here, even given how little sense it makes, but this...this is not good. Also, maybe Angel's hair is all smooth and poofy now because Wesley's hair is spikey like Angel's used to be? So, Gunn has Welsey's brains, Wesley has Angel's hair, Harmony has Cordy's job, and Cary has...a lot of free time. Poor thing.