Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 1 USERS: B+
Wesley vs. Darth Burger

"Thank God. I was starting to get bored," says a disembodied voice, as Sahjhan materializes into the room. Justine instinctively swings her sword around to decapitate him, but it goes right through him. He dryly observes that his barber has the same problem, hence the bad hair. He compliments Holtz on his lair, telling him, "I love the whole chained undead look you've got going on. It really sets off your fern." They love to have it both ways at Mutant Enemy. Mock horror conventions, but use them anyway. Sahjhan is there to find out what's the deal with their deal. The deal is that there is no deal anymore. Holtz asks Sahjhan what he's going to do about it, then answers his own question: "Nothing. That's what you'll do. That's all you can do, or else you wouldn't have brought me here in the first place." It would serve Holtz right if Sahjhan went back in time to last season and warned Darla about the pregnancy, thereby saving us from baby Connor, and keeping us with an evil vampire to kick Holtz's sanctimonious ass. Sahjhan would rather resort to sarcasm and name-calling instead. He calls Holtz's Heroes a bunch of paramilitary Moonies and suggests that Holtz is too big a coward to kill Angel himself and theorizes that Holtz's dead wife would agree with him. Oh God! They're inflicting bad exposition on us. Sahjhan painstakingly details how Holtz's family was killed. I hate it when characters tell each other things that they already know for our alleged benefit. And then Sahjhan concludes his history lesson by asking, "Any of this ringing a bell?" in order to make it sound like Sahjhan is trying to remind Holtz of his motivations when it's really just bad and unnecessary exposition. As sick as I am at the leaden dialogue, Holtz orders Sahjhan to leave. Sahjhan reminds Holtz that the untouchability goes both ways here. Holtz trumps Sahjhan, though, informing him that he could trap Sahjhan's essence in some sort of magical urn that would keep him imprisoned for the rest of his life. Or forever. Whichever. Sahjhan warns Holtz, "This isn't over," as he fades away.

Back at the Hyperion, Wesley's on the phone, arguing with some wizard he wants to perform some task for him, offering him "obscene amounts of money." From where? They're back to having almost no clients again. He stares at his prophecy translation: "The father will kill the son." I'm thinking that just because the prophecy says, "The father will kill the son," it doesn't mean that Angel is the father or that Connor is the son. But, then again, I'm not as good at jumping to conclusions as Wesley. After all, it's not like Wesley has a history of translating prophecies incorrectly, does he? Perhaps I should give Wesley the benefit of the doubt that he's doing this consult because he has realized the wiggle room in the prophecy. But I won't. Fred wanders in -- wearing a red jersey with 35 printed on the front -- in order to provide our recommended daily allowance of unresolved sexual tension. She compliments Wesley on the way he comforted Aubrey. She babbles on that Wesley needs to get out of the office for a while, and suggests that he ask Aubrey out on a date. At this point, I've resorted to impersonating Apu from The Simpsons toward the television, saying, "Shut up! Will you not shut up? I cannot believe you will not shut up." This is probably Fred's idea of letting someone down easy. Wesley looks a bit hurt for a moment. Or perhaps just horrified and wondering whatever he saw in this nitwit. Then he curtly tells her, "We're not here to date; we're here to do a job. Now why don't you go to the pier and do your job." Chastened, Fred leaves.

Hey, it's Lilah! She's in her office, talking on the phone to her mother. It sounds like mom has some sort of ailment, perhaps Alzheimer's. Lilah has to repeatedly remind her mother who Lilah is and asks if she needs any money. But Lilah's awfully patient and nice about it. Lilah reminds her mother that she can't come over to visit because she's in Los Angeles. Lilah loves her mom. I hope they don't go softening her up. I'm afraid they're going to turn her into the new Lindsey and then turn Gavin into the new Lilah.

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