Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 1 USERS: B+
Wesley vs. Darth Burger

The camera sweeps across the Los Angeles skyscape before zooming in (with sound effects, no less) on the amusement park on the pier. Fred describes to Gunn possible signs of vampires nests, because somehow Gunn's forgotten how to do this although he's spent several years of his life fighting vampires. Hey, I've got it! Fred is some sort of intellect vampire! She learns how to do things by draining that knowledge out of the heads of other people. How else has she picked up so many unrelated skills after living in a cave for five years? And how else do you explain why everybody else in the MoG seems to be mentally devolving? Run, Gunn, run! She only wants you for your survival skills! As proof, Gunn doesn't think there's any point of looking for any sign of vampires during the day, and wants to play games. Fred tells him that they're supposed to be working. Gunn says, "Me no work. Me just look around a bit. Then me play." It's too late. Gunn is gone. Poor Gunn. Sucked into moronitude by Fred the intellect vampire. He was my favorite. The Moron Formerly Known as Gunn says that Wesley never even asked Fred to accompany him anyway, and probably just wanted to get rid of Gunn and chat up Fred. Fred defends Wesley, saying he would never do that (and besides, she sucked all the useful skills out Wesley's head in about ten seconds), but is then flattered because Gunn called her "his girl." Somehow, Fred also concludes that Wesley knows about her relationship with Gunn, and that Gunn had confirmed it. She must be sucking knowledge right out of Gunn's head as they're talking. That's pretty talented. Now Fred's all worried because Wesley's their boss, and she doesn't think he likes them dating. I'm all about professional work behavior, but what is he going to do, fire the both of you? Like people are beating down the door of Angel Investigations with work applications. It looks like Gunn still has some brains left. He asks Fred whether she stood up to Wesley, pointing out that they're both adults who have a right to a private personal life. Fred, of course, had not, but she didn't know when Wesley snapped at her that he knew that she and Gunn...oh, good god, screw this Three's Company crap. Fred whines that perhaps they should back off and just work together. Gunn refuses. He wants his work and he wants his woman and refuses to give up either. They go off to look for vampires while Fred sucks the knowledge of how to hotwire a car from Gunn's head.

Back at the Hyperion, Angel plays "Smother Connor with a Teddy Bear." No, seriously. He takes a teddy bear and pushes it onto Connor's face, then pulls it away. He's such a tease. Wesley wanders by, as unkempt as ever, and says he needs to leave for a while. Angel asks him if he's okay. Wesley non-answers something about checking on something. Angel worries again that Wesley knows something about Connor, but doesn't worry so much that he presses Wesley for an actual answer. I don't know who I'm more annoyed with: Wesley's co-workers, who can tell that there's something wrong with Wesley but refuse to press him about it; or Wesley, who refuses to tell anybody about his fears because...I don't know. I literally don't know. I understand why he wouldn't want to tell Angel, but to bear this burden alone like some melodramatic, tragic gothic romance hero with both a savior complex and a martyr complex is just stupid. I hope whatever bad happens to Connor is Wesley's fault. Okay, obviously I'm more annoyed with Wesley. As Wesley leaves, Angel stops him to thank him for being a good friend. It's the unexpected anvils that hurt the most.

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