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And Baby Makes...a Dozen?

Previously on Angel, some doofus named Liam got drunk and wandered into an alley with Darla, where he became Angelus, and experienced a hundred years of bad hair. Meanwhile, a crazed barber named Holtz was determined to stop Angel's mane of terror, so he hitched a ride with a demon to the present. Angel reunited with Darla, who said, "God doesn't want you, but I do." I still like that line. Since God wasn't returning his calls, Angel had sex with Darla, who later turned up pregnant, much to everyone's surprise. Oh and there's a prophecy nobody can figure out, and a bunch of Wolfram & Hart employees got killed, and then Holtz turned up at the Hyperion. Got it? Johanna was sure that was the longest previously ever, but it's just barely over a minute long. Which is plenty long, but that Buffy episode I did had one that was even longer.

Angel's clever response upon seeing Holtz is "Oh, God." Then he starts muttering to himself that Holtz must be the Tro-clon, "raised up from darkness to bring darkness." Then a demon pops up with some kind of giant iron fork, the tines of which he slides around Angel's neck. More demons attach cuffs to Angel's wrists. The whole set-up is kind of confusing, but I'm sure it would make sense if we could actually see the whole thing. Once Angel is held safely in place, Holtz wanders up with a bared sword and speechifies about sleeping for two hundred years, dreaming of this moment, blah blah blah revengecakes. Angel makes a lame quip, which causes Holtz to note, "You haven't changed." Angel says that actually he has, but doesn't go into his soulfulness, which is perhaps a poor strategic move, but one I respect. Of course, Angel's also distracted, since that's about when Holtz sprinkles holy water on his face. Holtz says, "Somehow, things seem the same to me." Holtz says he'll have justice, with a side order of fries, and Angel insists, "There's no justice for the things I did to you." He's not really pleading his case very well, is he? Holtz responds, "You didn't do them to me, and you didn't do them alone." Then he orders the demons to go find Darla, who he's sure must be lurking nearby.

In the alley, Darla screams some more. Wesley wishes Angel would come back with the scrolls. Gunn thinks that what they need is "some Vaseline and a catcher's mitt." Fred declares that Darla is in the active stage of her labor. They're all doctors now. Fine. Wesley decides that they'll have to give up on Angel and move Darla somewhere safer. Everyone gathers back around the car as Wesley gives Darla a quick tutorial in Lamaze breathing exercises. Darla growls, "I! Don't!" Then she gets some multi-limbed whammo action going, and punches/kicks everyone away from the car. "Breathe!" she finishes, her vamp-face on. Then she starts crying. Oh, poor Darla. She must have just seen the speeches she'll make in the second half. Credits.

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