Angel
Offspring

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | 1 USERS: B
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Offspring

Angel strolls up to the front desk and leans against it, pretending to read a book, but really just looking at Cordy. She asks why he's staring at her, and he says, "No reason." He keeps staring; she finally gets up and announces, "It's getting creepy now," and pours herself some coffee. Angel says he was thinking about how people relate. He notes the many differences between the two of them: "Human, vampire. Woman, man...pire." Cordy asks whether someone spiked his blood with vodka, and Angel fakes exuberant laughter at her quip. Finally, Cordy asks whether he's trying to tell her that he loves her. Angel freezes and asks, "What?" She sips her coffee and calmly announces that she loves him too. Angel stammers, "You do? When did this --" Cordy calls out to the others, "Angel loves me, and I love him." Angel gasps, "Oh, my God." Cordy looks at him, puzzled, and continues, "You guys love us and we love you." Off-screen, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred call out, "We love you, Angel!" Bwa! Again, I note that Gunn sure got over his contrived issues with Angel. Fine. Cordy explains, "They were all saying it earlier, just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die." Angel swallows his confusion. Cordy asks, "You're not gonna want a hug, are you?" Angel leans back uncomfortably and shakes his head. Cordy sits down, and they both declare that they've been through a lot together. They bond a bit, and Cordy finally says, "What are friends for?" From the doorway, Darla answers, "[If] you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry." She drops her suitcase and greets Angel: "Hello, lover. Long time, no see." She has a suitcase? I wonder if it's full of knitting. Baby booties, sized for teeny little cloven hooves.

Everyone gapes at Darla. Except Fred, who asks who Darla is. Gunn explains that she's an ex-girlfriend of Angel's. "Not the one who died?" Fred wonders. Gunn answers, "Yeah. No. Not that one -- the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire." Fred asks whether there's a chart to help her follow all of this, and Gunn says, "In the files. I'll get it for you later." Heh. Cordy asks Angel whether he lied when he said he wouldn't have sex with Darla. Angel is too busy being boggled to answer. Cordy repeats her question, and Angel says that vampires can't have children. Wesley backs him up. Fred wonders whether this is the bad thing the scroll warned them about. Darla advances on Angel and asks, "What did you do to me?" Then she punches him. Cordy steps between the two of them, and when Angel insists he's okay, Cordy says, "You'll hurt her! Haven't you done enough?" Cordy helps Darla to the sofa and starts tending her while everyone wonders who stole Cordy's brain. She's hurt, she feels betrayed, she's embracing her "Billy"-induced girl-power, whatever. I must have missed the episode where she had a lobotomy. Cordy reminds Angel that he swore he would never sleep with Darla. Darla snarks, "Oh, he lied? What a surprise." Fred brings Darla some water, and I chant, "Kill her, Darla, bite her, she's just a tiny morsel, gobble her up!" She doesn't, though. Angel apologizes to Cordy and explains, "It was a very dark time." Cordy snaps, "Oh, you used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic." Angel justifies himself by saying that he didn't turn evil, and Cordy gripes, "You just went male." Maybe if Cordy had been dating in one of the interminable episodes earlier this season, and it hadn't worked out, her attitude here would at least be understandable. Darla explains that she's seen "every seer and shaman in the Western Hemisphere," and nobody can explain it. Angel says something dumb, then Cordy asks how they can help Darla. Cordy's gone 'round the bend, folks. Darla says, "You can get your little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell's happening to me, and how to stop it." Cordy asks Angel whether he's going to take responsibility for the situation, and Angel blinks for a second and then asks Wesley to start researching. Wesley picks a random volume up from the desk, opens it, and says, "Here it is! It says, 'I have absolutely no idea what's going on.'" Join the club. The best part of that bit is that Angel hurries over to read over Wesley's shoulder, and looks very smug until Wesley's words penetrate his skull. Then Wesley suggests that they visit Cary.

Cary is in the midst of redecorating Caritas. So I guess he got over his doldrums from two weeks ago. I guess they've decided that character exploration is best left off-screen. Based on their recent attempts at it, I'm not sure they're wrong. The Transuding Furies float about, redoing their non-violence spell. Angel and the others enter, and the Furies "mmm" at him. Cordy notices them and says, "You girls are on the Pill, I hope?" They just "mmm." This gag wasn't all that fresh the first time, and now it's sour, and soggy, and smells bad, and I think it's time to throw out the pickle. Cary explains that this time the Furies are preventing both demon and human violence. So this confirms that there really was no reason he didn't do that in the first place. Swell. Cary turns to Darla and asks what happened. Cordy says, "Angel boned her." Cary's jaw drops. Angel insists, "Just once. Just the one night. Uh, just the two or three one-times that one night." Fred asks whether Angel is going to sing, and Wesley and Gunn get depressed at that idea. Cordy desperately insists, "[Darla's] the one having the baby!" Darla hauls herself to her feet, leans on Cary, sings, "Oh, Danny boy," and then demands to know what's inside her. Cary sits her back down and tells the various contractors and Furies to clear the room. Cary says, "This is way beyond my ken. And my Barbie, and all my action figures." Heh. He doesn't know what the child might be. But did he see anything at all? Does Darla's destiny feature a shotgun wedding? Cary ain't telling. Gunn suggests that the child could be "some kind of über-vamp." Shout out? Wesley mentions the Tro-clon. Angel worries, "Great, so we're saying that my child is the scourge of mankind?" Deep inside Angel, his demon side is glowing with pride. Darla moans in pain, and Cordy suggests that Darla should lie down. Cary agrees, and they help Darla into his bedroom.

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Angel

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