Angel
Angel

Episode Report Card
Strega: C+ | 700 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Apocalypse, Nowish

Blipvert across town. The MoG run through a doorway and stop dead. Satan turns to look at them. Then we see that he's standing inside a square made of neat lines of crumpled bodies. Cool! A bunch of civilian casualties! That hardly ever happens. Satan is also dangling one last body, holding it by one ankle. Cary says, "I'm gonna need a bigger arrow." That's a shame. That line, I mean.

After a final burst of ads, Satan hurls the body across the room toward them, cueing the MoG's super-slow-motion action extravaganza. Oh, great. Just when there's finally action in this episode, we've got slo-mo to make it drag on forever. Angel runs slowly, then finally hits normal speed as he takes a few whacks at Satan with a sword. Satan quickly yanks the sword away and punches Angel, sending him flying into a pillar, which crumbles on impact.

Gunn throws his hubcap-axe at Satan. Satan catches and calmly crumples it into a useless mess. Khan! Man, first that dog on Futurama, and now the hubcap-axe. What a depressing evening of television.

Angel hops up and pulls a few more weapons out of his coat as Satan throws the ruined axe back at Gunn, who leaps out of the way. Angel races back in and starts swinging at Satan with what I think are a pair of battle-axes. Although he gets in some exciting whirls and floor-rolls, Angel doesn't actually seem to make contact with Satan at all. Stop aiming for his torso! Go for his big, silly feet! That's clearly his weak point! Notice how he just stands in one place instead of chasing you around? Satan finally catches Angel's arms on a downswing and shoves, pushing Angel away.

That's when Wesley and Cary fire their crossbows, and we go slo-mo again, but at least it's for a reason. The arrows fly across the room, and Satan swipes at them, knocking them off-course. One arrow ends up in Angel's shoulder, the other in Angel's stomach. Ha ha ha! Angel doubles over in pain. I double over laughing. I expect to hear Cary and Wesley shout, "Whoops, sorry!" but they don't. It was still funny, though. Satan turns to look at them as they reload the crossbows. Then Satan picks up Angel and throws him at Cary and Wesley. As they all fall in a pile, Angel's leg knocks over a shotgun. Wait, was the shotgun already there in the club?

Angel

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