Currently on Angel, the WB claims that it is the beginning of the end, but the end is just the beginning. Given how coherent that is, I'm guessing that Darth Burger now works in their promo department. Which makes me wonder what kind of foul hell-beast is behind the UPN ads for Buffy, but I digress. Hey, did anyone else find it funny that there was an ad for the Reign of Fire DVD release right before the show started? Maybe it's an incredibly complicated crossover, and they'll fight some dragons on the show. That'd be cool.

Previously on Angel, Wesley turned down sex with Lilah in favor of physics with Fred, Gunn killed a guy so that Fred wouldn't torture him, Cordy forgot that she shouldn't sing, and then regained her memories after Cary lost a few of his own.

The show opens with Gunn picking up his hubcap-axe. Oh, I'm so depressed. Poor little hubcap-axe. It doesn't know what will happen to it. Angel descends the stairs saying "No," followed by Cary, who's saying, "Why." That continues for a while, and it gives you a good idea of how intelligent everyone's going to seem throughout this episode. Cary thinks that Angel should ask Cordelia what she remembers about "her stint as Miss Higher Power." Angel wants to give Cordy time "to adjust." Cary asks Gunn and Fred for support, but they're gathering up weapons for a case. Angel asks if he should tag along, but Gunn says it's just a woman hearing "spookies" in the plumbing. They exit as Angel cheerfully tells Cary, "See? The worst thing we've got going on is a haunted toilet. So let's give Cordy a little space -- it's not like the world's gonna end right this second."

Poof. The world ends. Closing credits. Goodnight, everybody!

Not really. Not yet, anyway. Instead we hear a woman scream, and cut to Connor's Flat of Foreboding, where Cordelia is watching a movie. Which is the source of the screaming, naturally. Connor quietly enters and says, bizarrely, "Chocodiles!" It turns out that he's gone out in search of junk food. Cordy takes one and thanks Connor: "Not just for the snacky goodness. God, thanks for everything." Connor tells Cordy to rest, and brushes her hair out of her face. Cordy says that whenever she closes her eyes, she sees "something horrible moving. Deep down, clawing its way up." She talks about tasting blood and smelling burning flesh, and Connor assures her that she's safe with him. Cordy insists that nobody's safe, adding, "I want to warn Angel, but the words won't come out." Maybe she could write him a note. She goes on being spooky for a while and finishes, "It's real. And it's almost here." Connor stands up, and a low growly voice says, "I know." Cordy looks up and sees what looks like Satan, wearing a lava suit, looking down at her. Satan grabs her by the throat. (Necks! Always necks!)

Cordy suddenly gasps and wakes up. Connor rushes to her bedside and asks if she's okay. She just squeaks and bursts into tears, crying on his shoulder as he hugs her. Credits.

When we return, Angel is polishing up his weaponry while Cary demons the phone. Cary says, "They came out of your what? Okay, okay, well, did they get up there themselves, or was this part of a, y'know, a thing? No, I'm not judging!" Hee. Cary pauses to ask Angel if they fight snakes. Angel grunts, "Only if they're giant. Or demons. Or giant demons." He suddenly starts paying attention and rather nervously asks Cary if there are giant demon snakes on the loose. ["That sounds like an incredibly complicated crossover with another current Warner Bros. product you may care to enjoy." -- Wing Chun] Cary's pretty sure they're normal-sized snakes. Angel more eagerly notes that the snakes may still be demonic. He asks whether the snakes are making "weird demony sounds."

Cut to a woman telling Fred and Gunn that "the noises are horrible." She's leading them to her haunted bathroom. Apparently, the mysterious noises started in the past week. Fred says that "the longer a specter inhabits an area, the harder it is to convince them to leave." Sigh. Poor Dennis. Gunn's sure they can handle it. The woman points them toward the bathroom and departs. Fred and Gunn slowly enter and find...

...a palatial bathroom. Gunn says, "Marble countertops, whirlpool tub, bidet -- this is the kind of place I imagine us movin' into one day." Gunn fantasizes about owning a bidet? Sure. And what exactly leads him to think his current lifestyle is going to eventually lead to a fortune? Oh my lord -- Gunn's planning to kill Angel and steal his krugerands! Oops, sorry, I'm missing the angst. Fred is uncomfortable about Gunn's line of conversation, and I can see how she'd feel uncomfortable at the idea of sharing a home with Gunn, considering she's currently sharing a single hotel room with him. Actually, I don't understand that at all. They're both acting like completely different characters, frankly. Maybe this is like "Waiting in the Wings," and they've both been possessed by the tormented spirits of some extremely dull middle-class couple. Gunn tries to reassure her: "I'm not sayin' tomorrow. It'd be nice one day, that's all." To have a bidet. Fred starts to reply, but they're interrupted by creaks and other generic mysterious noises. Gunn peers into the sink, and I'm suddenly convinced that horrible things are going to come out of the drain. The noise stops, and just as Gunn lifts his head the bathroom mirror breaks and out come rats. Rats behind the mirror, rats poking out of the shower drain, rats hopping out of the toilet, rats in the tub, and yes, rats in the bidet. Fred and Gunn shriek and yell, and Fred observes that the rats aren't ghosts. "Oh, they're gonna be!" Gunn insists. Then a rat falls on him from the ceiling fixture. Fred tries the door but it won't open. More shrieking; Gunn finally shoves the door open and they make it outside.

Gunn keeps on panicking and shouting, "Get 'em off me!" I thought it was odd that Gunn was this freaked out by a bunch of rats, but then I remembered that he mentioned not liking rats before. They quickly walk down the hall, past the woman, and Fred suggests calling an exterminator. "Or just burn the place down," Gunn adds.

Shut up, Wesley's apartment. Wesley comes home, closes the door, and we hear Lilah ask, "Hard day at the office?" Wesley mentions an encounter with a swarm of bugs and asks, "Why are you dressed that way?" The camera swings around so we can see that Lilah's put her hair in pigtails and is wearing glasses and a -- well, she's dressed like Fred, is the point. She swings her legs like a little girl and assumes a fake Texan accent as she drawls, "Isn't this what you like?" Wesley tries to interrupt, but Lilah insists, "I'm good, and I'm pure, and science turns me on, and one day, if I pray hard enough and eat all my vegetables, I just might have hips!" Hee. I love Lilah. In her normal tone, she asks if Wesley was turned on by Fred's lecture. Presumably she's referring to the thirty seconds of the lecture that happened before Fred was wrapped in the coils of a vicious hell-beast. Although, given Wesley's habits of late, maybe not. Lilah says that she doesn't care about Wesley's crush on "the Texas twig." She adds, "I know whose bed you'll be crawling into at the end of the day," and starts kissing Wesley. He responds, then pulls back to ask, "You think you know me?" "Better than she ever will," Lilah responds. And then they break into a rousing game of chess. Um. Strip chess. Yes, that's it. Lilah starts to take off the glasses, but Wesley barks, "Leave them on." She hesitates a second and then does so, but she looks a lot less happy about, um, castling.

Gunn and Fred walk through the Hyperion's courtyard talking about how

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