Episode Report Card
Strega: B | 3 USERS: A
"Funny" Strange, or "Funny" Ha-Ha?

Yuckmeister is...oh man. It has hacked open a torso and seems to be sewing bits of the skin to other things on the Yuckyball. Wesley helpfully mentions that the door to the tunnels is open. Yuckmeister isn't concerned: "Good at catching furrys." Well, why'd you go through all that effort to catch one if you didn't want to use it right away? Wesley tries a new conversational gambit: "So...not from around here, are you?" I try explaining to the Yuckmeister that it takes a throat-slitting to keep Wesley quiet, but it doesn't listen. Instead, it explains that it comes from an older world. As Wesley spots a little blue orb, Yuckmeister chuckles, "Use my key, visit. Won't be breathing there. Burn out little mouth-lungs before you make a peep." Mm, peeps. Meanwhile, Yuckmeister continues cutting bits of things out of other things. Seriously, this is quite disgusting. Wesley says, "Fair enough," and backs away from the orb. Yuckmeister mimics him, "'Fair enough! Fair enough, enough!'" Yeah, I like this critter.

Wesley asks if the Yuckyball is part of a spell, and the Yuckmeister explains that it's doing "blood magic, flesh magic, older than words" to remind Jasmine who loved her first. It adds that Jasmine doesn't care about "word-magic," and says, "There only one word she --" It stops suddenly, and turns to click at Wesley. Wesley -- who is such a tremendous idiot that I can't even believe it -- decides to let Yuckmeister know that it's said too much, instead of acting like he didn't notice the slip. This behavior may get him killed, which should explain why I haven't said, "Shut up, Wesley." He asks what word Jasmine cares about. Yuckmeister reminds him, "You is talky meat. Don't make me come down there!" and busily resumes work. As it pokes a claw into a body, the body suddenly jerks up so we can see it's a vampire. The vamp whines, "What is it with you, man? This is disgusting!" Hee. The vamp begs Yuckmeister to "drop the cliché serial-killer act" and stake him. Yuckmeister, confused, asks, "I tear your guts all inside out. I stitch your guts every all over. Why don't you go dead?" The vampire starts to make a rude suggestion, and Yuckmeister reaches into his mouth. After a quick shriek from the vamp, Yuckmeister turns to Wesley and observes, "More talky meat," before throwing the vamp's tongue onto the floor. Jeeeeeeesus. Are they allowed to do this? Wesley tries to explain that vampires aren't really the correct building material for this project. Yuckmeister asks if the vamp is "like the one with the angry steel?" Wesley explains that the vampire who attacked it is named Angel. Yuckmeister grumbles, "That's why you are so weak; too many are knowing your names! Takes your power away." Wesley starts to go into some cocktail-party chatter about how names don't give them power, and then has an important insight. Which, once again, he decides to share, so that Yuckmeister will try to kill him, because he is an imbecile. Wesley guesses that Jasmine's name is the word that she cares about. Yuckmeister hisses, "Shut," but continues to ignore my advice on how to keep his prey quiet. As Wesley goes on being stupid, Yuckmeister leaps down and shoves Wesley against a wall, shouting, "Shut, shut, shut!" Sing it, brother.

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