Angel
Spin The Bottle

Episode Report Card
Strega: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Unchained Memory
s, "And I apparently ain't gonna." Wesley feels his bicep as he flexes his arm, and Angel moans, "I feel cold. Inside." Cordy snaps, "This is so unfair! I'm a craggy twenty-something? What about prom?!" Ha! She gets a perfect note of whiny teenage petulance in her voice there, too. Fred asks whether killing the vampire will remove the spell so that they can resume their lives. "And never see each other again?" Cordy adds. Wesley says, "I believe we can all just go about our business." "And never see each other again?" Cordy repeats. Gunn grabs his axe and proposes that they divide into two groups to search. Cordy volunteers to team up with "tall dark and less-pathetic-that-you-two." By which she means Angel. Cordy and Angel head upstairs while the others head down the first floor hallway. Fred hangs back to tell Wesley, "I'm ready. I'm okay. It'd be cooler if we could score some weed, though." Oh, wait. This is meant to explain her appetite, right? That's funny.

Finally! A (slight) change of scene! I'll have added some paragraph breaks before you see this, but normally each scene gets a paragraph. Which means that right now I've got several paragraphs that are over a page long. Angel and Cordy are strolling down a hallway. We hear music playing, and Angel peers curiously into Cordy's room, where the stereo is still on. Right now it sounds like there's a Doors cover band playing on it. Angel turns back to Cordy and says, "Minstrels!" Hey! Hang on. Angel and Cordy went upstairs. And now they're in Cordy's room. Which was on the ground floor two weeks ago. Maybe when she moved back in this week, she moved everything upstairs? Whatever.

In the room, Angel leans in curiously and examines the stereo. Angel gingerly pokes the speaker with his sword. Cordy finally reaches over and shuts the stereo off. Angel whines, "You stopped the tiny men from singing!" Hee. Angel sits on the bed and looks forward to "a great cup of ale" when this is all over with. Cordy sits next to him and starts putting the moves on him. She rubs his shoulder while he apologizes for acting "womanish." Cordy squeezes his bicep and assures him that he's not at all womanish, then says, "What is it about danger that makes your blood just..." As she turns her head, Angel gazes at her neck and suddenly vamps out. Then he goes back to normal before Cordy looks at him. Angel jumps up and excuses himself as he rushes into the bathroom. He stops in the doorway, and looks at his lack of reflection in the mirror. He turns back and raises one eyebrow in a way that reminds me of Bruce Campbell, for some reason. I pause the tape to giggle, and than laugh some more in anticipation. Unpause. Angel runs back into the room and tells Cordy, "I'm invisible!" Cordy says, "No, you're not." Beat. Angel says, "Oh. Excuse me!" and runs back into the bathroom, shutting the door. Pause. More giggling. That "I'm invisible!" thing kept me laughing for day, honest. Unpause. Angel looks into the mirror and waves, then whimpers slightly at his continued lack of reflection. Flustered, he vamps out and feels his altered face. Devamps. Vamps. Devamps. And so on. Each time we get the creaky noise of bones shifting, or whatever that noise is meant to be.

Outside, Cordy approaches the bathroom door and asks what's going on. The creaky noise is faintly audible as Angel says he's almost done.

Angel devamps again and moans, "I'm a vampire. They're gonna kill me!"

Cary leads the unseen audience in a round of applause as he says, "Those were some exciting products. Am I right? Let's all think about buying some of those!" The crowd laughs. I'm more and more confused. Cary is pretending to be on a TV show with a live studio audience? How odd. Over a shot of Angel exiting the bathroom and leaving the room with Cordy, Cary asks, "Is there anything worse than feeling like you're all alone? Like you're the only person in the world who thinks they way you do, and if anyone else found out they'd drive a pointy wooden thing through your heart." Oh yeah, that sucks. Er, hypothetically. Angel left his sword behind, incidentally. Silly Angel. Back to Cary, who says, "As for our fearless vampire killers..."

Cut to Gunn, leading an exploration of the kitchen. Fred and Wesley cower further back, and Fred suggests that maybe aliens are involved. Fred stops and tells Wesley, "I can just see myself lying on a table, no clothes, no will, while they probed and explored and did whatever they wanted to my naked, helpless body." I suppose I should mention that during that speech, she's fondling the sharpened baseball bat she's holding. As she finishes her line, Wesley's sleeve-blade pops out of its sheath. Wesley agrees that would be horrible as he gently retracts the blade. He stammers a bit as he reassures her that demons wouldn't do anything that "exploratory." He trails off, and finally pats her on the baseball bat and chirps, "Don't be afraid!" Gunn returns and says the kitchen is clear. Wesley says, "Let's not give up probe! Hope. Give up hope!" Gunn leads them back out of the kitchen.

Cordy and Angel descend the stairs into the lobby. Wesley is examining Cary as he asks if they had any luck. Angel quickly insists, "We saw no vampires of any kind anywhere!" Cordy explains that they didn't exactly look everywhere: "There's five floors [sic]! My feet hurt." Gunn says that the hunt is a waste of time, and Angel agrees. Angel quickly backs toward the door, yammering, "This place is evil. And I think that I should leave now! 'Cause of evil!" As he opens the door, Wesley races after him shouting, "Don't be a fool!" Angel adds, "Good luck, all!" and slips out the door. Gunn asks, "So, we're all locked in, huh?"Gunn, I think that's your own fault for not even checking the doors. Cordy wonders if Angel just bailed on her. Astonished, she admits, "There really is some sort of horrible spell!" Fred wonders if Angel will be okay, while Gunn says, "At least he ain't as bored as me." Wesley says "Liam right now may be facing horrors he's never even imagined."

Cut to Angel looking boggled as he watches cars race up and down the street in front of the Hyperion. He spins and runs back into the hotel.

Everyone turns as Angel runs in and gasps, "Demons!" Wesley, terrified, gasps, "Really?" He recovers enough to look confident before turning to Gunn and adding, "Told you!" Then he turns back to Angel and resumes his terrified expression as he asks, "How many?" Angel says, "Hundreds! Screaming!" Wesley asks what the looked like, and Boreanaz looks like he might be about to lose the deadpan and collapse in laughter as he answers, "Shiny," and backs out of the frame. He sits down next to Cordy, who purrs, "I still got it." Gunn wonders if they should continue searching the rooms. Wesley has a new theory, and while he goes on about it, Angel's eyes keep wandering toward Cordy's neck. Wesley gets as far as saying, "I submit that the bloodsucking fiend may be closer than we dared suspect -- that it may be --" Angel jumps up and offers to search the rooms. Wesley whines, "I was getting to the good part!" Angel repeats that he'll go hunting, and Wesley jumps back and flaps his arms as he shouts, "That it may be one of us!" He says that the vampire has been with them all along, and reaches into his breast pocket as he adds, "Waiting for the moment to strike!" With that, he whips a cross out of his jacket and sticks it in Gunn's face. Gunn stares at the cross. Wesley quivers with idiocy. Gunn punches him. Ha! Angel grins, "See! The English is [sic] stupid!" He suggests that they try a different theory, but from the floor, Wesley moans that he's not done yet. He says that everyone should hold the cross, noting, "It obviously doesn't affect me, or our friend the pugilist." Gunn growls, "Your ass better pray I don't look that word up." Cordy takes the cross from Wesley, rolls her eyes for a minute, and tosses it over to Fred. Fred runs the cross over her limbs like it's a metal-detector wand. She hands it to Angel. He takes it and calmly says, "No vampire here." His hand smolders slightly. He lower

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