Angel
The House Always Wins

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Veni, Vidi, Vegas

Previously on Angel, Cary said arrivederci, Cordy got light-headed and stood Angel up, Angel got advice from a gargoyle, and the MoG acquired a nightlight.

Return with me now to the thrilling days of yesteryear, when we all gathered around the radio to listen to the adventures of mysterious do-gooders like The Shadow. Remember what it was like to pull chairs close to the giant mono speakers and wonder what Terry and the Pirates would be up to this week? No? Okay, me neither. But I had a little problem with my VCR this week. I think using the TV remote confuses it, and it turns out that I was recording sound, but no picture, during the teaser. I swear there was a picture on my TV, so I didn't notice anything was wrong until the first commercial break. Then I sorted everything out. While panicking, because I can multi-task. So bear with me; there might be a few small inaccuracies here at the start.

It's night, and a clown is running down one of L.A.'s many deserted streets. It's amazing how fast he can run with those big floppy shoes. Suddenly Connor pops up in front of him. The clown pulls out a balloon and says, "Nothing human can move that fast. What are you?" Connor pops the balloon with a pin and smirks, "Don't know yet, but I know what you are, and what to do with you." The clown vamps out, causing his red nose to pop off, and he and Connor start to play hopscotch together.

Hovering above them with a jet-pack, Angel is watching the fun and offering color commentary. He says, "You're talking too much; [that] gives him time to --" He's interrupted when the vamp-clown unexpectedly pulls a trout out of his pants and begins thumping Connor about the head with it. Connor retaliates by doing cartwheels as Angel goes on kibitzing. From her glowy dimension, Cordy offers her own opinion: "Of course he can do it; he's his father's son. Same dark good looks, same lost-boy sweetness..." She holds up a sign that says, "They're making me say these things, folks. Send help!" She tells Angel not to worry about Connor, and adds, "Maybe there is something you could be worrying a little more about. Like, for instance, me!" She begs Angel to get her out of "Misty-Magic Land." Angel, of course, hears none of this.

Back on the street, Connor has pulled out a cart full of cream pies and is hurling them at the clown with deadly accuracy. The clown dodges and whips out a seltzer bottle, waiting for an opening. Just when all seems lost, Angel whistles for of his trained unicorn, which runs down the street and distracts the clown so that Connor can finally stake him. Afterwards, Connor looks around curiously, and then runs away.

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