Angel
Angel

Episode Report Card
Strega: C+ | 898 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The MoG vs. A Mountain of Swiss Cheese

Blipvert to a smoothie shop. Customers are staring at Phil. He's chugging down two drinks at once and looking a little the worse for wear, with nasty sores on his face. He demands more drinks, and a worker notes, "I don't wanna be rude, sir, but you've been here for almost six hours!" Wow. I told you the days went fast on this show. The workers suggest that that Phil is sick, but Phil just holds out a credit card and demands more smoothies. Upon learning that they don't take credit cards, he shouts, "Water! Water, then!" One worker threatens to call the police, and is thrown across the store for his trouble. "We're! Thirsty!" Phil yells. The other worker starts pouring more smoothies.

Lilah and Gavin meet by the water cooler for some intra-office banter. A secretary in the background has an iMac. Ooo, I can't wait till they start giving some product placement to the new model. It's so cute! Anyway, it's Gavin's turn for exposition, as he mentions that Angel tried to kill Wesley, "bringing him one step closer to his dark side, and one step closer to us." Lilah sneers, "Dark side, shmark side. Remember a year ago? Wine cellar? Slaughter?" Ha! "Shmark side." Gavin dismisses that as an ill-resolved storyline, and insists that for Angel to attempt to murder a friend represents definite progress. Lilah suggests that they should "get those two wacky kids together again and see what happens." Which two? I think she means Wesley and Angel, but it's hard to be sure. Gavin goes from complimentary to snarky, and Lilah gloats, "Angel tried to kill his friend, kidnapped and tortured Linwood, and performed dark, forbidden magics, all on my watch." Having completed this round of filler, Lilah asks, "Can we stop feigning now?" Gavin says, "Sure," and they quickly walk away from each other. This stuff really makes me wish I'd seen Profit. A lot. Hint, hint.

Back at the Hyperion, Angel's sorting through stuff in the office. I bet he finds a lot of doodles that say "Wesley + Fred." Out in the lobby, Fred's moping that she keeps expecting to see Wesley at the desk, and can't they all just be one big happy family? Gunn snorts that Angel won't forgive Wesley "unless Wes comes back with that baby under his arm. And even then, Angel would probably kill him on principle." Wesley should try bringing them some other baby and pretending it's Connor. Angel might not notice any difference. All babies look pretty much the same, right? Gunn and Fred go on talking about what Wesley did. Again. In case we forgot all about it in the two scenes since it was last mentioned. Dear David Fury, I realize us kids are famed for short attention spans, but we can actually remember basic plot elements without this constant repetition. Love, Strega.

Angel

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