It's mealtime backstage at the UWF (Underworld Wrestling Federation). Angel takes a seat and tries to make conversation by saying, "Looks like good gruel." Cribb, the green demon we saw fighting earlier, hereafter identified as Froggy, asks Angel who he is. After Angel introduces himself, Froggy says, "What you are is a soon-to-be-dead slave." Speaking for us all, Froggy adds: "Shut up." A runty little barbarian starts to take a bite of bread, and Froggy shoots out his very long tongue and gobbles the bread up. The Runt complains. Froggy grabs the Runt's bowl of gruel as well. Angel tells Froggy to return the gruel. While tension grows at the dinner table, the guards begin powering up their cattle prods. Angel pulls the bowl back over to the Runt. Froggy stomps off in a huff. I bet Froggy just wanted to make the Runt go tell the guards, "Please sir, I want some more." Later, the Runt tells Angel, "I can fight my own battles." Angel implies that the Runt can't, leading the Runt to ask, "You want a piece of me?" In an effort to revive myself, I bang my head against a wall for a few minutes. The Runt goes on to tell Angel, "Don't be rockin' the boat; this is life and death in here." Apparently the Runt is from a race of demons that can speak only in cliche. Jack and Darin enter, and Jack begins addressing the prisoners as "ladies" in a way that makes me feel very tired. He announces the pairings for this evening's fights. Trepkos, who has yet to say a word, which we all know means he's the fiercest fighter, will be fighting Mellish, the Runt. Darin whispers to Jack that "After [Trepkos] kills Mellish, we'll put him up against Kafka for Saturday's fight." I'm guessing that Kafka is a big cockroach, and therefore is too expensive to actually appear in this episode. The Runt tries to talk tough to Trepkos, and then Angel's cellmate suddenly makes a break for it. As he starts to dive at Jack and Darin, Angel shouts "Nooooooo!" and tries to intervene. Unfortunately, Angel is moving in slow motion, and therefore is powerless to stop his cellmate from jumping over the red line and instantly dissolving into dust and blue lightening. Darin complains that they'll have to find a replacement for the dusted demon. Jack looks at Angel and says, "How about Captain America here?" Snicker.
Episode Report CardStrega: D | 665 USERS: C+
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