There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb

Episode Report Card
Strega: C | 2 USERS: A
There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb

A female slave enters the throne room and asks Cordelia what she needs. Cordy tells the girl to stop kneeling and says, "You have served me long and loyally these last...two and a half...days. I'm very fond of you, Lamara." The slave says that her name is actually Marelda, and then apologizes for correcting Cordy, saying, "You must cut the tongue from my worthless skull!" Cordy disagrees, and asks why the Pyleans are so keen on mutilating each other. Marelda nervously admits, "We don't have a lot of entertainment." Heh. Cordy asks Marelda to take her to the mutilation chamber, and Marelda freaks, insisting that it would shame the kingdom if Cordy were seen in such a place. Cordy thinks about that and orders Marelda to undress. On the table, Cary's head, which has been playing decapitated-possum, suddenly opens its eyes.

Angel is standing in a ray of sunlight, explaining to Fred that he can't do this kind of thing back home. He should be making shadow puppets. Okay, so he could do that back home with a lamp, but it still would have been funny. Fred observes that Angel is better off in Pylea, then, but Angel admits that the ability to get a tan is offset a bit by his tendency to attack his friends. He wanders around and starts looking at the words Fred has scrawled on the cave walls. Angel recognizes some of them as the words they used to reverse polarity...I mean, "open the portal." Fred says, "They're not words. They're consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula." Angel dopily looks at Fred and plays along by saying, "Well, obviously." Fred says she tried to remember the words to get back home, but gave up when nothing worked. Angel tells her that "a Drokken and one of those green warriors got to L.A. from here. Someone had to open portals for them on this end." Great, now my head's gonna explode. Dear Angel, Cordelia opened the portal that got Landok to L.A. You were there when it happened, you great buffoon! No love, Strega. The conversation is interrupted when a soldier suddenly attacks Fred. As Angel pulls the guy away, two more rush in to join the fray. Hey, I just wrote a couplet! The teal demon rushes in as well, and there's, y'know, fighting. Angel's eyes flash red, and he whimpers, "Can't change, won't change. I'm a good little girl." Maybe not that last bit. The demon runs his spear into Angel's shoulder twice before Fred bonks him on the head with a rock. Angel bleeds quietly as Fred begs him not to die. Aw, poor Fred and her pet doggie. Cow. Van-tal. Whatever.

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