Angel
Unleashed

Episode Report Card
Strega: D+ | 4 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Arf.

Fred and Nina walk back toward the van. Fred tries to turn that frown upside-down by saying that Jill was only angry because she cares. They stop suddenly and Fred says, "That's weird," as they stare at the van. I stared at this shot for several minutes, and rewound and looked at the shot of them exiting the van. Nothing looked weird. I think we were meant to see that the van's rear door is slightly open. Which isn't all that weird, since they were expecting people to come back. Plus, it's a black van with a black interior, which makes it virtually impossible even to see that the door is open. Whatever. Fred pulls the door open, revealing that the goons are either dead or unconscious. Fred quickly pulls a tranq gun out of her purse. She pauses for a beat and then says, "Run!" She and Nina run down the street, and then a bunch of ninja hop out of another van and attack the girls. Fred shoots a couple with the tranqs before one of them bonks her on the head with a club or something. Fred collapses, and Nina is packed into the van. One of the ninja stands over the unconscious Fred in broad daylight on a suburban lawn, pulls out his phone, and says, "We got the package." Stealthy. Dude, why not wait till you're in the van and driving away to announce that you were successful?

Elsewhere, a guy who looks a tiny bit like Richard Schiff says, "Bring it around back. I just had the floors done." It's a good line, but what are his floors made of if they're liable to be damaged by having a person moved across them? Because I thought most flooring material was made to stand up to that kind of use.

Nina is dragged across a cement floor on her knees. Maybe her knees were going to scrape up the new floor? Oh! Maybe it's a newly-poured cement floor, so it's still wet. In that case, it all makes sense. The ninja put her wrists in manacles hanging from the ceiling while she wails and cries. They exit, and a woman marches in. The new woman nods to another ninja, who, I kid you not, opens a fire hose and proceeds to douse Nina with water. Then the woman walks over and cuts off Nina's shirt with scissors. Then, I'm still not kidding, she starts to scrub Nina down. The Not-Richard-Schiff watches from the doorway. This is astonishingly sleazy. Oh, I'm sorry, it's adding a lot of depth to the story because now we're thinking about the humiliation of being stripped and chained and doesn't it make you feel for your own inner werewolf? Or does it just make you wonder why they didn't take her pants off? It seems like, if the nudity was actually significant in any way, she'd actually be nude and not just topless. In conclusion: ew.

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Angel

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