Previously on Don't Count Your Chickens, Especially If You Entrust Them To A Total Fox: The weary tribes thought they were heading for a merge, but when they got to picking new buffs, it was only a reshuffle. Not much of a reshuffle, either, in that all that happened was that up was down and black was white and summer was winter and water went down the drain counterclockwise and all of Mogo Mogo was Chapera and all of Chapera was Mogo Mogo except for Amber. This put everyone's favorite floral bikini advocate in an obviously precarious position when FakeChapera blew the immunity challenge, as its apparently unchangeable destiny dictated it would. The crappy luck doesn't come with the name, folks -- it comes with the ineptitude. At least FakeChapera showed its versatility by demonstrating that it can lose at both intellectual and physical tasks. In an effort to save his best alliance and ward off sexual frustration, Rob muttered to Lex that if Lex took care of Amber, Rob would reciprocate. Lex shared this offer with his trustworthy compatriot Kathy, and they both decided that it would be a good idea to rely on Rob's word, as monkeys swung through the trees carrying signs that said, among other things, "WHO'S MORE EVOLVED NOW, GENIUSES?" The whole thing was sewn up when Amber offered Kathy a final five of Rob, Tom, Amber, Kathy, and Lex. Thus, a Shii-Ann-dumping Kathy and an all-business Lex decided to boot Jerri instead of Amber, despite the fact that Jerri appeared to be a fairly reliable ally for them, while Amber...well, didn't. Lex, for the second week in a row, showed his compassion and kindness by breaking it to the bootee ahead of time that departure was imminent. He has confidence, you see, that his friends can distinguish between the game, which is just business, and personal relationships. You might want to remember that Lex has taken that position. Because between you and Lex, one of you should remember it. In other news, Fauxgo Mogo wound up with the crappy camp, while the lazy-asses of FakeChapera got the great camp and the great stuff that Chapera worked so hard to accumulate. Detestable bastards.
Credits. Oh, look at all the fools who have already fallen by the wayside. And yet there are so many fools left.
FakeChapera. Day 25. Serene music taken from the CD Music To Do Yoga And Hate Your Enemies By sighs as we watch Kathy and Shii Ann walk on the beach. Back at camp, Lex splits the morning wood. (Splits morning wood, people. Splits. Bunch of dirty minds.) He interviews that booting Jerri the previous night was very difficult. He decided to throw her over and keep Amber "as a favor to Rob." Lex goes on to say, "When I need to cash in with Rob, I'm sure he'll deliver. He's good on his word." Yeah. And I don't want to give away exactly what Rob can be expected to deliver, but I would encourage Lex to consider using any spare clothing he has to pad his butt. Because you know what hurts? Kicking. Anyway, the Small But Ominous Shark of Portent swims along the bottom of the ocean. (I love animal metaphors, although they'll never beat this.)