Are You Hot?

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 1355 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Hot Zone 1: Southwest/Northeast

Butter, a rapper and not a stripper like Lorenzo asked, is told by Lorenzo that she "need[s] to wrap [her]self into a smaller dress." She makes a really great speech about how her big thighs are still sexy, and for everyone out there who's "puny," it's not the size but how you work it. Butter melts in my mouth. But another chick comes up that gets Lorenzo's boner -- I mean, "interest." A cookie-cutter big-breasted blonde in Lucite heels. Anyone who wears heels like that deserves to be asked, "Are you a stripper?" but Lorenzo calls her "a pocket Venus." Lorenzo, you are as transparent as those Lucite heels.

More judging flies by, paired with backstage zingers from the rejects. Randy calls a woman's thick ankles "thankles." Hee! Lorenzo asks a woman if she got her implants to balance out her "wide" butt. She says yeah, then backstage says that he's a hypocrite because "look who he's dating." Who is it, Anna Nicole? Chesty LaRue? Busty Saint Claire? Seriously, I don't care. One Goth girl prompts Randy to long for self-tanner. She says Randy will "benefit from those tanning bed days." Hee. The tanning bed days are akin to the salad years, right? Lorenzo tells a woman that the fact that her thighs don't touch is a problem, and wants to get the tape measure. Rachel is appalled for some reason. Hey, Rachel, ever watch the Howard Stern Show? They do this whole show as a bit, and it's a lot funnier and even more cruel. The judges get laser pointers to highlight perceived flaws. You just sit behind a table. Howard Stern does everything better than ABC.

Are You Hot?

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP