Now we're in the Northwest. Seattle, to be exact. I love Seattle. There's so many great bands from Seattle. And I love how all the contestants have slightly wavy hair and are in turtlenecks. Because it's damp, get it? The PAs in Seattle are a thousand times nicer than the ones in the Southwest, too, choosing to tell one group, "You know what, you are all beautiful, but not enough to be on the show." That's almost sweet. One candidate asks what it is they're looking for, and the PA yells, "You know what, please exit to the right." Hee! One guy (sadly, in an ugly '70s polyester shirt) says he's the "best white guy dancer since John Travolta." Didn't you see Billy Elliott? Then he does a Michael Jackson kick, twirls, and smacks right into a nearby female contestant. Medic!
A female "exotic dancer" says that her line of work has taught her how to deal with people from all walks of life, including those of different ages and races. Making her line of work different from all others available, I'm sure. Another reject from Mensa uses the words "comfortable-est" and "funnest." Wow, this show is just the barfiest. One girl is rejected and says that it was a mistake because her boobs are real. Another guy drops his shorts and does the Joe Boxer underpants dance. Thank you, Seattle.
Now, we get the all-twins segment. One set argues over who is the hottest man in America. Guys? It's neither of you. A female set seems really competitive, and say they won't split the prize money. Well, since neither of you will win, why make an issue of it now? Another set of male twins mumbles worse than Stallone as they try to say the line, "We are both confident we're gonna make it." Not only can they not say the line, they don't believe what they're saying. You two are fired.
Next up, Denver. Love those omelets! One chick says she's "obnoxious" and thus will "stand out," since she's "got the personality to go along with this." Obnoxious is a perfect fit! We have a winner! The end. No, I wish. Denver actually looks like kind of a bust. One guy blows fire (the circus tryouts were next door), a chick tries to execute a back flip and unattractively falls out of her bra, and one girl stands with her arms folded and says in a monotone, "I'm a sexy bitch." Yikes. Finally, some people that could end up in front of the judges appear. One girl says she loves her butt and wishes she could kiss it.













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